Parhaps A Name Change Is In Order?

Heaven nightclub has been shut down immediately after a bouncer was charged with raping a drunk woman who had been turned away from the venue. The world famous gay club had its licence suspended for 28 days following an emergency hearing at Westminster council on Friday.

Sound a lot like the Other Place. 

The woman said she was attacked by a bouncer on November 1 and was then “ignored” when she tried to report the assault to other club security staff, the meeting was told.

The expedited licensing review heard that detectives arrested the suspect at Heaven on November 11.

Subsequent enquiries showed that the arrested man was not permitted to work in the UK and may have “provided a false name to his employer in order to gain work”.

Morenikeji Adewole, 47, of Dunlop Close, Dartford – also known as Olu Julius or Olusolu Alabi – was charged with rape on Wednesday, the Met Police said.

Is there anyone in the security industry who can do a good job and appropriate due diligence, because it doesn't seem like it... 

Amy Lame, who was Sadiq Khan's night tsar until last month, appeared to disagree with the decision to revoke Heaven's licence. She wrote on Instagram: "Our community is being held to double standards, targeted by institutional homophobia and is the victim of legally questionable interpretation of licensing regulations. Let the battle commence."

They aren't shutting the place because it's full of irons, Amy, but because it's full of dodgy security staff and unsafe! I'd tell you to wind your neck in, but from photos, it appeard you don't have one. 

Why Is Science Bowing To Superstition?

'We know very little, practically nothing' about the creatures, Hannah Hendriks, marine technical adviser for the Department of Conservation, said. 'This is going to lead to some amazing science and world-first information.'

If the cetacean is confirmed to be the elusive spade-toothed whale, it would be the first specimen found in a state that would permit scientists to dissect it, allowing them to map the relationship of the whale to the few others of the species found, learn what it eats and perhaps lead to clues about where they live.

Some good news on the science front, at la...

Oh. Wait.  

This time, the beached whale was quickly transported to cold storage and researchers will work with local Maori iwi (tribes) to plan how it will be examined, the conservation agency said. New Zealand's Indigenous people consider whales a taonga - a sacred treasure - of cultural significance.

/facepalm 

In April, Pacific Indigenous leaders signed a treaty recognizing whales as 'legal persons,' although such a declaration is not reflected in the laws of participating nations.

Then why on earth is anyone consulting them on anything? What can they usefully add to this debate?  

Nothing is currently known about the whales' habitat.

And if science bows to superstition, we never will... 

Superstitious Savages...

...and the people who should know better than to pander to them:

The Great North Museum (GNM) in Newcastle has come under fire for refusing to loan certain pieces for display purposes in case they are seen by females.

Female staff working at the museum may also be prevented from handling certain artefacts, such as secret-sacred Australian Aboriginal objects, in case this offends the culture from which they originated.

Anyone remember that scene in 'Crocodile Dundee' when the aboriginal man uses a cellphone to contact Mick Dundee, who has tried to contact him using a bullroarer? I couldn't help but think of it reading this, and wondering if they think some tribal elder is Googling 'Newcastle' right now... 

But the move has sparked fury among Newcastle residents, who branded it 'PC gone mad' and accused the museum of not maintaining 'our cultural standard' of treating men and women equally. Others claimed it was 'hypocritical' of the museum to enforce such measures seeing as they 'shouldn't have these items in the first place'.

Good point, outraged Geordies! The museum itself is pooh-poohing the very idea! 

A Tyne & Wear Archives and Museums spokesperson said: 'Like many museums in the UK, the Great North Museum: Hancock cares for objects in its collections that are sensitive in nature. These include sacred and non-sacred objects from countries and communities around the world.

'To ensure that we manage these collections legally and ethically, several policies govern our work, including our Sacred Objects policy. This policy has been publicly accessible on the Museum website since 2018.

'We work in accordance with this policy on a case-by-case basis. However, no items have been removed from display, nor are any planned to be removed, and we have not been approached by any museums, institutions, or cultural groups about borrowing or viewing sacred objects. Therefore, no action has been taken whatsoever.'

Always the safest course of (no)action, eh?  

The New Term For ‘Retreat’…

 …it’s ‘de-escalation’.

A group of Jewish people gathered at the station to pray for the people of Gaza before videos appear to show British Transport Police officers attempting to break them up and take their speeches. A small scuffle broke out with clips suggesting around half a dozen officers were involved, before the situation was de-escalated by them walking away from the group.

Did they wave a white flag too? It's really a mystery why we have such little confidence in the police these days, isn't it? 

Another case in point:

How can we have confidence in British policing? pic.twitter.com/2Y9MOAsyvw

— David Vance (@DVATW) November 1, 2023

How, indeed... 

Technology Sledgehammer To Crack Justice System Nut...

Home Office officials have drawn up secret plans to lobby the independent privacy regulator in an attempt to push the rollout of controversial facial recognition technology into high street shops and supermarkets, internal government minutes seen by the Observer reveal.

The covert strategy was agreed during a closed-door meeting on 8 March between policing minister Chris Philp, senior Home Office officials and the private firm Facewatch, whose facial recognition cameras have provoked fierce opposition after being installed in shops.

Wouldn't you be better off sorting out the justice system instead, to ensure that theft is properly policed and punished? But no, falling for shiny new toys is so much more fun...

The Question No-One's Asking...

The arrest in London of a radical French publisher under counter-terrorist powers has been referred to the police watchdog after the reviewer of terrorism legislation found that it was wrong.

Ernest Moret, 28, was held for almost 24 hours by counter-terrorist police and asked about his opinion of Emmanuel Macron and participation in anti-Macron protests after he arrived at St Pancras station in April for a book fair.

...is why on earth the UK police farce should be protecting a French politician in the first place? Given that there was no danger to that politician in this country, as he wasn't even here! 

In a damning report published on Friday, Jonathan Hall KC, the reviewer of the terrorism legislation, said the police should not have used schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act to confiscate Moret’s phone and laptop and demand he reveal passcodes to the devices.

Moret’s lawyer, Richard Parry, said his client was “very pleased” with Hall’s report. “We will now be writing to the Met commissioner asking for a full apology and compensation for all the distress of the detention and everything else that’s followed.

“The police shouldn’t be doing this. They really need to get their house in order. Mr Moret has been the sacrificial lamb to highlight the extreme dangers of crossing the line from terrorism into public order policing. It has gone too far.”

You're not wrong, but I wish you hadn't stuck your hand in my pocket. Because we all know that's where the compensation is coming from in the first place... 

Announcing that the case would be referred to the IOPC, Commander Dominic Murphy, who leads the Met’s counter-terrorism command, said the force accepted that use of terrorism powers should be subject to “constant vigilance and attention to safeguards”. He added: “We fully cooperated with this review and we know how important it is that our work is as open and transparent as it can be, so that the public can have confidence and trust in what we do and how we do it.”

The public no longer has that, though, does it? Because they are well aware that the police no longer represent their interests, but those of everyone else instead. 

You Know What, I'm Actually OK With This...

...just so long as it works the other way as well. And GPs and hospitals pay YOU every time an appointment is cancelled. It's only fair, right?

She told ITV's Good Morning Britain that the Government had 'no immediate plans' to impose fines but 'it is not ruled out for the future'.

Ms Caulfield, a former nurse, said there was a 'good argument for it and we are not ruling it out for the future but it is not something that we have got on the table right now'.

Asked if the policy could be in the next Tory manifesto, she replied: 'Potentially, yes.'

That's the strong, decisive Tory government we've come to know and love! 

...the idea triggered a backlash from the health sector.

Wait, what? Aren't they always complaining about no-shows? 

The British Medical Association said that fines for missed appointments would 'not only undermine the essential trust between doctor and patient (Ed: stop laughing at the back!), but ultimately threaten the fundamental principle that the NHS delivers free care at the point of need, for all'.

But no-shows don't generate any care, do they? And if they don't turn up, maybe they didn't need it...

The NHS Confederation said the bureaucratic costs of the plan 'could well far outweigh the money brought in by the fines'.

The NHS complaining about 'bureaucratic costs' would be laughable, if only I was capable of laughing anymore... 

With, Of Course, Exceptions For The Right People?

Joanna Lumley has suggested that a system of rationing similar to that seen during wartime, under which people would have a limited number of points to spend on holidays or lavish consumer goods, could eventually help to tackle the climate crisis.

Gosh, where to start? Apart from, 'What 'climate crisis'..? 

“These are tough times, and I think there’s got to be legislation,” she told the Radio Times. “That was how the war was – stuff was rationed – and at some stage I think we might have to go back to some kind of system of rationing, where you’re given a certain number of points and it’s up to you how to spend them, whether it’s buying a bottle of whisky or flying in an aeroplane.”

I know as you get older you tend to fetishise the 'good old days' but this is utterly barking even by usual luvvie standards! 

In a new documentary on ITV next week, Lumley travels around the UK...

On foot? By bike? 

...following the adventurer Sacha Dench – known as “the human swan” – as she attempts an epic 3,000-mile journey around the British coast in an electric paramotor.

While her luggage goes by road, I guess? Will such a method of transport catch on?

...in September, just days from her journey’s end, Dench and her support pilot and photographer Dan Burton, who was flying a conventional paramotor, collided in mid-air over the western Highlands. Burton, 54, a father of two from Devon, died, and Dench, 46, was seriously injured and remains in hospital.

Reader, it's a 'No!' from me... 

H/T: TheOtherDavidBellamy via Twitter

"...attacks continue with little consequence to those at fault."

Hey, it's not just sheep, either, Phil:

He added: “There is a real concern amongst sheep farmers in the UK that the situation is spiralling out of control and becoming the norm. As reported in the survey, farmers are taking what steps they can to protect their flocks including displaying signs, moving sheep to areas with less public access and working with communities via social media but unfortunately these actions seem to be having little impact in improving the number of incidents.”

Start taking the only action these people will understand - shoot Fido dead in front of them! 

The findings of the survey also showed 82% of respondents strongly agreed that additional powers are necessary to act as a deterrent to dog owners allowing attacks to happen.

Why? Most of the current powers aren't enforced, why give lazy cops even more to ignore? 

Mr Stocker continued: “The Kept Animals Bill is well behind schedule which is frustrating on one hand, but I still don’t believe that it is fit for purpose, still not requiring dogs to be on leads when in fields with sheep and suggesting maximum fines for those found guilty being limited to £1000 in England.

“This compares to a recent change of legislation in Scotland that has seen the same crime punishable with up to a £40,000 fine or prison sentence. This disparity must be addressed. A lack of punishment and continued varied responses from police rural crime teams across the UK is frustrating farmers who are experiencing great upset as well as financial loss because of this issue.”

Do you see 'animal lovers' assisting farmers? Harrying morons with loose dogs the way they harry hunts or animal testing labs? No... 

Sound Like The Same Old Story To Me, Bri...

National Geographic says storytelling “helps us to find order in things that have happened to us and make sense of the events of a random world”, and that studies suggest “the more compelling the story, the more empathetic people become in real life.” According to the BBC, “storytelling is a form of cognitive play that hones our minds, allowing us to simulate the world around us and imagine different strategies, particularly in social situations … brain scans have shown that reading or hearing stories activates various areas of the cortex that are known to be involved in social and emotional processing …”

Wow, Bri, since you're an author, that must be a good thing to hear, right? 

Oh, wait, this is the 'Guardian'! What was I thinking? 

The problem is that some of the most urgent and lethal challenges our society is facing are too giant and unwieldy to fit into the little patterns our human minds are used to making.

*sighs* OK, go on, give us an example... 

Our present pandemic response policies suggest some people don’t get to be “heroes” on a “journey”, and many traditional western storytelling conventions aren’t up to the task of understanding a climate emergency that defies any sort of conflict-resolution arc.

*yawns* Boy, some stories do get old real quick...

Rather Refreshing, Eh?

The visibly disgusted sheriff described Black as 'the most despicable excuse for a human being I've ever seen in my life.'

He added: 'There is a special place in hell for this woman. Until she gets there, she's going to rot in our jail'.

Wow! No doubt this will have the Guardian-reading progressives clutching their pearls in horror... 

Ivy said the video was taken last October by a home surveillance camera and provided to the Sheriff's Department by a former roommate of Black's. Ivy called the incident sickening and showed visible anger and disgust as he walked Black into the women's annex of the Brevard County jail.

'If I hear as much that she has a pet rock, I will lose my cr*p because this woman doesn't deserve to have anything,' Ivy said. 'You know, usually when I'm walking people in, I have something to say to them,' he tells Black. 'I'm disgusted by you.'

But isn't it refreshing not to hear a law official sound like a social worker for once? We could do with some of that over this side of the pond...

I Suppose This Was Inevitable...

...not content with lab-grown 'meat', now we can look forward to lab-grown fur:

Luxury fashion house Fendi, part of LVMH, wants a sustainable alternative to fur. Researchers from Imperial and Central Saint Martins are on the case. Finding an integrative alternative to fur in the fashion industry means replicating the luxury qualities of the original material. If it feels fake, then it is a failure. Professor Tom Ellis in the Department of Bioengineering at Imperial thinks he has part of the answer: use genes from fur-producing animals such as fox and mink to grow substitute hair fibres in the laboratory.

I'm all for the appliance of science, but this is as crazy an idea as the idea of lab-grown 'meat'; we have a natural, sustainable source of both, and we are throwing that overboard to satisfy the squeamish. 

Is it me, or..? 

Together with LVMH and Fendi, Professor Collet will look into the market-fit of a new kind of fur such as this, what designers would make of it, and how the public might react. The expectation is that it will be more luxurious than fake furs made from plastics, with better environmental credentials. This will be explored with a thorough life-cycle analysis of the new product.

We already have a process to grow meat and fur - they are called 'farmed animals'. This is a waste of science. 

This Never Occurred To Them Before The Coroner Suggested It..?

'Where there is disclosure that a service user is in possession of an offensive weapon this must be documented; there must be a documented discussion as to the response; the information must be passed to the police; any action taken by the trust and/or the police to be documented.'

For 'service user' read 'potentially dangerous mental patient'...

In his Prevention of Future Deaths report Mr Middleton wrote: 'During the course of that meeting the perpetrator disclosed that he was in possession of a knife, that he was sleeping rough and he needed the knife for his own protection.

'The members of the Dorset Forensic (Mental Health) Team did not probe as to where the perpetrator was sleeping.' He added the fact that he said he was carrying a knife was not probed further by the forensic social worker, who work with offenders with mental health problems.

It was also not recorded at the time in his records and not raised during a Care Programme Meeting - which monitors the package of care people with mental health problems receive - held the day following the disclosure.

Did anyone bother to do their job properly? 

Dorset HealthCare said they accepted the coroner's conclusion and will make changes to 'minimise the risk of such a tragedy happening again'.

Only 'minimise' it, because they clearly know they are employing people who aren't up to the job, and probably cvan't get rid of them... 

Detective Inspector Richard Dixey, of MCIT, said in 2017: 'Ryan died as a result of a brutal knife attack by someone he had classed as his friend.

'His death was tragic and needless and I hope the sentence handed down today will assist Ryan's friends and family in some small way as a step towards closure during what has been a terribly traumatic time.'

You don't think the revelation that it was completely avoidable adds to the trauma, then, Richard..? 

The Identity Politics Gravy Train Needs To Hit The Buffers Hard...

Council chiefs have advised staff to omit the word ‘family’ when sending Christmas greetings so as not to offend those who have no relatives.

Surely sending Christmas cards instead of 'Winterval' cards is offensive enough in the first place, to the people likely to kick up a fuss..? 

One section of the 42-page document (Ed: 42 pages! What a waste of trees...) advises workers to steer clear of linking specific attributes to chronological age’ and rather than use phrases like ‘a young and vibrant team’, should consider ‘a team made up of people in the early stage of their careers’.

Yeah, that one just trips off the tongue, doesn't it? Trust a local council penpusher to suggest using thirteen words rather than five... 

It recommends avoiding phrases such as ‘women who are pregnant’ and ‘expectant mothers’ and to instead use gender-neutral phrases like ‘people who are pregnant’ and ‘expectant parents’.

By way of elaboration, the guide also states: ‘Not everyone who is pregnant is a woman – people who are non-binary or trans men can also be pregnant.’

I'll stop you there - if you're pregnant, you're a woman. This isn't sci-fi. Normal biology applies. 

Greenwich council said: ‘Our inclusive language guide is advisory only and was designed to encourage staff to reflect on the use of language in the workplace and how it might impact their colleagues.’

Why on earth should this be necessary? Or even part of staff induction? Burn it all and salt the earth.  

Call Their Bluff, Then, Priti...

Priti Patel 'will hire private jets to fly migrants to Rwanda' because airline bosses 'refuse to put on flights in fear of a backlash' from critics.

The Home Secretary was reportedly told that her plan to send migrants to the East African nation for processing could result in protesters targeting the firms involved in the flights.

'Reportedly told' by whom? Those civil serpents in her department desperate to stop it, perhaps? 

That would considerably increase the price of the policy which is already understood to cost British taxpayers an initial £120million.

Not necessarily. We do have all those RAF transports sitting around, don't we? Those pilots need to keep up their flying hours, don't they?

Ipswich MP Tom Hunt, who previously welcomed the Rwanda policy as the 'only truly effective way of tackling the channel crossings issue', said any airline that refuses to take part in the scheme should be 'named and shamed'.

I'd go further. I'd say 'should face sanctions'. At the very least, should no longer be an approved supplier of flights to government employees travelling on business... 

Civil servants who complained about Priti Patel's Rwanda policy have been slapped down by their boss and told to get on with the job.

The Home Office's top civil servant has warned his staff that leaks which had attempted to undermine the policy had been a breach of the civil service code.

So let them face the consequences of it (if indeed there are any). Empty talk, this is all that is.  

Taking Your Work Home With You...

...it seems some take it just that little bit too far!

Despite his PCSO role having been based in Derbyshire, he lives in Wales, according to a statement on the Constabulary's website.

 Well, when your work is virtual, why not?

Bennett also presided over 74 misconduct hearings, involving 90 officers, between June 2010 and February 2012, according to a Freedom of Information (FOI) request lodged in 2021.

Out of these hearings involving Bennett, 56 officers were dismissed - more than 75%.

Which must all now be re-investigated, surely? 

A Snowflake Opines...

I remember the first violent message I received on Instagram. It was a veritable bingo of hate: he mocked me, told me no one would want to look at my “dirty” crotch – though his language was worse, of course. He asked if “sluts” like me, moaning until they “get what they want”, was “what our country was coming to”, before reminding me that nothing was going to change. He finished by saying he hoped I was gang-raped “senseless” by 20 men. But, he didn’t use the word “men”. He used a racist slur instead, finishing the message with five middle-finger emojis.

So you blocked and deleted and got on with life. right? 

I remember how my chest tightened and I grew hot with fear.

Oh... 

I hadn’t been surprised to become the target of online hate.

Wait, you expected it? 

When abuse fills up your DMs and your inbox, there’s no way to escape it.

Yes there is. Block, report, delete.

Those in charge of tackling of this abuse (sic) are usually men. They don’t really understand the impact it has on victims and survivors. They haven’t been in our shoes.

Some have, sweetie!  

No single bill from parliament will solve this, and no single software update will either. A holistic and collaborative effort from the platforms, lawmakers and independent initiatives who know the reality of the issue, not just the theory, would be a positive start. Until then, we’ll share our locations with friends, add another dick pic to our screenshots folder and delete messages with trembling hands, hoping that one day our safety will finally become a priority.

Why should it? Everyone's safety should be a priority. What set of genitalia you possess shouldn't give you a head start, given young men are assaulted and killed at a rate of at least two to one... 

Isn't It There To Protect Us...?

Perhaps the most dangerous three words in the English language are 'Protect the NHS'.

So says Prof Karol Sikora. And he's spot on, isn't he, Reader?

A report from the National Audit Office (NAO) this week found that up to 740,000 potential cancer patients have been missed since the beginning of the first lockdown in March 2020. These are people who should have been referred urgently for investigation in hospital, for a disease where delays exponentially increase the risk of death. The NAO estimates that, since the pandemic began, between 35,000 and 60,000 fewer people than expected have started treatment for cancer. Untreated cancer kills. Timely diagnosis is absolutely crucial. In a few years, perhaps just four, the death toll from delays to cancer diagnoses could be higher than the total number of people who have died in Britain with Covid.

I can well believe it. 

I don't believe the Whitehall sloganeers realised how powerful their catchphrase would be.

I don't believe any of them cared one whit. 

The British revere their health service, and have such a deep-dyed reverence for doctors that many feared they would be seen as selfish, irresponsible or even unpatriotic if they rang their GP's surgery.

That applies particularly to the older generation — those 60 and over, who are the ones most at risk from cancer.

I'd say this was a plot to get rid of them, if I credited the people behind this with that sort of foresight. 

The two diseases are simply not comparable. I am frustrated and exasperated beyond belief that we have allowed cancer diagnosis to be so badly undermined by fanning fears of a far less deadly illness.

Why the past tense, Prof? They are still doing it!