I Know A Remedy For Overcrowding…

Want to know what it is? It's 'stop breeding'.

When the Guardian visited the family’s home last week, Dareen was wheezing loudly while being cradled by her mother. Large patches of black mould were present throughout the property. The tops of walls and ceilings were stained with streaks of water, probably caused by damp. Airtight plastic boxes full of children’s clothes sat in the living room.

Oh, no! How did this come about? 

The family moved to the privately rented flat in February 2017 and problems with damp and mould developed soon afterwards. Dareen was born last January with a hole in her heart. At five days old she was taken to hospital where she remained for nine days. “She was cold and had breathing problems. They gave her oxygen and warmth,” her father said.

Yes, it's yet another case of 'We are in cramped conditions, but why should that stop us having kids we've no room for?' 

And why do they do this? Because it works:

Despite the new classification, the wait for a new home could be lengthy. Lambeth council said this was due to high demand and a severe shortage of social housing, especially homes for a seven-person household.

*sighs* 

The New ‘Oooh, Me Back!’

Well, I'm sure this comes from rigorous medical research...

The findings come from 10,171 adults who completed questionnaires.

Oh. 

More work is needed to understand who is at risk, how bad it can be and what can be done about it, experts say.

No, I'd start with 'can it be proven to exist?' first, if I were you.  

The researchers behind the new work say the results provide validation for patients who experience problems like this. Investigator Prof Adrian Martineau, from Queen Mary University of London, told the BBC: "People really can feel very run down after a virus. It's not in their imagination and it is a recognised thing."

I wonder if it's recognised in HR departments? 

Giving The Lie To 'Starving Families'...

Thousands of struggling families are missing out on a total of £45million a year in food support available through the NHS Healthy Start scheme.

Wait, what?! 

The scheme, which involves using a pre-paid card at the till, gives money off certain healthy foods and products to low income families with children and pregnant women. However, research by Which? found take-up is such that many in need are missing out.

Then they aren't in need, are they? Or this is yet another failure of the NHS. Which is it? 

Which? urged the Government and supermarkets to step up efforts to promote Healthy Start...

Why? If it's not being taken up with the promoting they are already doing, scrap it instead! 

...and to extend the number of those eligible to receive the discounts.

That definition of insanity needs updating. We need to add "...and do it even harder" to "Keep doing what you're doing..." 

Liverpool's Gain Is Scotland's Loss...

A racist nan headbutted her neighbour for "constantly" ringing a communal doorbell after he lost his key.

Nakita Sullivan, 35​...

*blinks*

...screamed down an intercom at Aaroon Azim, warning: "Stop ringing my f***ing doorbell."

The gran-of-one marched downstairs where she let the "vulnerable" resident in and confronted him with a hammer. Liverpool Crown Court heard she headbutted him the face, before hurling a racial slur at him as she returned to her flat.

Lovely! 

Sullivan was previously jailed over a vicious gang attack, when she and her boyfriend battered a student for no reason.

But she walked free from court after saying she wanted to start a new life in Scotland with her grandson.

Ah, well. She'll fit right in, I'm sure... 

Infantilising The Population, One Scouser At A Time...

Liverpool is set to become the first city in the country to officially back a call for the 'right to food' to be enshrined in law. 

And if this succeeds, what next? A 'right' to clothes, heating, transportation, accommodation, the latest technology..?

The government is coming under increasing pressure over the issue of food poverty, with footballer and campaigner Marcus Rashford forcing changes in policy after highlighting the struggles many families are going through.

Like poor Sharon, who hasn't eaten for at least 40 minutes! 

Mr Byrne will seek the support of Liverpool Council for the campaign with a motion at Wednesday's meeting.

He said: "We need a change in the law to ensure people do not go hungry any longer and to hold the Government to account on their failings.

"Given how many of our own citizens will benefit from the change in the law we want to achieve, it is entirely fitting that Liverpool becomes the first ‘Right To Food’ city.”

Oh, you're right! It is entirely fitting, though not, I suspect, for the same reasons you seem to believe... 

Dave Kelly, Chair of Fans Supporting Foodbanks which is driving the ‘Right To Food’ campaign, believes that establishing a legal Right To Food will be life-changing for millions of people.

He said: “Make no mistake, if we can legislate to make access to food a legal right in the UK, it would mean an end to many of the situations that force people into food poverty at present and make Government legally responsible for ensuring its citizens do not go hungry.”

What next, making government legally responsible for ensuring everyone wears a nice warm scarf when it's chilly out?  

It's A Mystery, Isn't It?

Today, RoadsideMum described her dismay at opening the free school meal package. She told the BBC: 'As I unpacked that food parcel in my living room and looked at the contents, it felt very sad and very depressing, and one of my children came in and saw me laying this out on the floor and asked why.

'I said I was going to picture it because I didn't think it looked like a lot and I could see the child's realisation that this is what I've been given to eat for a week and just the sense of sadness. 'Where has the rest of the food gone? You know, this is meant to be a week's food. Why is it so mean?'

Almost as big a mystery as why you originally told all your followers it was meant to last ten days...

One Twitter account belonging to a mother called Sarah - RoadsideMum on Twitter - who originally said a sparse package from suppliers Chartwells was supposed to be worth £30 and last ten days.

In an interview this morning, she accepted the groceries had only been intended to last her child seven days...

So, some people don't seem to be learning the lesson that if the government provides a service, it's going to cost more than if you - yourself - provided it. Which you'd think would be like gravity, one of those undeniable laws of nature, or something, but clearly not. 

Let a teacher try to explain: 

'Well all we're given extra is an extra £3.50 a week which was announced yesterday. So obviously the money we normally get for free school meals we have a lot of overheads so it's £2.30 a meal but I only have about £1 to spend on food because we have obviously all the wages and the electricity and the water and everything.

So our food parcels really we only have about £5 a week to spend on food then we got the extra £3.50 yesterday and so it's significantly less than £15 given out to families in vouchers. '

So why, you may ask, do they not simply give these parents more money? And cut out the middleman? 

Well, I give you Exhibit A: 

 The prosecution rests.