Under a Pink Sky is the story of two troubled kids – only one of whom survived to tell their story.
Yes, Reader, this is the news that the mother of Brianna Ghey has a book coming out, in her quest to become the new Doreen Lawrence. 'Under A Pink Sky' is the title, presumably because 'Screwing Up Your Kids For Dummies' was too on the nose...
Ghey says there are so many parallels between her early life and Brianna’s. As a teenager, Esther Ghey was caught in a web of self-loathing. She had body dysmorphia, was desperate to be thinner, and told herself that nobody would ever love her the way she was. At times she was bullied; sometimes she picked on other children. Then she found drugs. She left school at 16 with no qualifications. “I had no self-worth because of that. I had no respect for myself, no respect for my body, no respect for my life, and that is such a sad, tragic, horrific place to be.” Brianna would go on to struggle with many of the same things: self-belief, school attendance, bullying. And while she was never hooked on drugs, Brianna was addicted to her smartphone and social media.
Incompetent screwed up parents raise incompetent screwed up kids. Is this really 'news'?
By the age of 20, Ghey was a single parent to two young children. She managed to get a house, hoped to make it a “safe haven” for her and her children, and failed miserably.
Shocker! Cue people saying she never had a chance to turn her life around. But wait!
In her late 20s, now clean and a devoted mother, she started with a job as a cleaner at a car dealership before going back to college, initially doing an English GCSE. She did an access to health professions course, because at the time she wanted to be a nurse, completed a degree in nutrition at Liverpool Hope University, and eventually became a senior product development technologist for a food company.
But it made no difference in the end.
For 14 years of Brianna’s life, she was Brett.
No, he always was Brett. Allowing your son to don womanface doesn't make him your daught. Nothing will do that.
Through the book, Ghey makes a clear distinction. She refers to Brett as he, Brianna as she. Does it seem like two different people?
“It does, though that’s not necessarily because she went from Brett to Brianna, it’s just the natural stages of life. It was important for me to talk about Brett as well, because to understand where Brianna was at, you need to understand the whole life.”
I think we do. Poor child was doomed in the womb.
What was Brett like? Her face lights up and her voice crackles with happiness. “Hyperactive, giddy, funny, always getting up to mischief. A cheeky little thing. Absolutely fearless. He taught himself gymnastics – he did backflips. I think of him bouncing around Asda, completely uncontrollable but also completely full of joy. And so kind. When he was young, he had an asthma appointment and as he was leaving he went to give the doctor a hug. He was so full of love. That kind of love started seeping away once I’d given him the phone. The impact the phone had on his mental health is stark. I believe it took my child away from me.” There’s a tremor in her voice, and Ghey starts crying.
You're blaming the technology? Really?
Brett had so many issues, she says – body dysmorphia and dysphoria, asthma, ADHD, appalling eyesight, autism (then undiagnosed).
Brianna was a mass of contradictions: desperate for attention in the digital world, but terrified of the real world.
Because he spent so little time in it, thanks to a mother who allowed him never to face reality.
“My relationship with Brianna was so bad because all I wanted to do was help her, but because I wasn’t backing down, we were having lots of arguments.” Brianna became abusive and violent. When Ghey confiscated her phone, she punched holes in her bedroom walls.
“I saw how addicted she was to her phone through her behaviour,” Ghey says, “because I’ve been through it myself. Smartphones have been built to be addictive. Social media is built to keep you on there as long as possible. It’s the attention economy.”
And that's why you're writing a book. Don't decry the 'addiction of attention' while you yourself are shooting up on it.
