I remember the first violent message I received on Instagram. It was a veritable bingo of hate: he mocked me, told me no one would want to look at my “dirty” crotch – though his language was worse, of course. He asked if “sluts” like me, moaning until they “get what they want”, was “what our country was coming to”, before reminding me that nothing was going to change. He finished by saying he hoped I was gang-raped “senseless” by 20 men. But, he didn’t use the word “men”. He used a racist slur instead, finishing the message with five middle-finger emojis.
So you blocked and deleted and got on with life. right?
I remember how my chest tightened and I grew hot with fear.
Oh...
I hadn’t been surprised to become the target of online hate.
Wait, you expected it?
When abuse fills up your DMs and your inbox, there’s no way to escape it.
Yes there is. Block, report, delete.
Those in charge of tackling of this abuse (sic) are usually men. They don’t really understand the impact it has on victims and survivors. They haven’t been in our shoes.
Some have, sweetie!
No single bill from parliament will solve this, and no single software update will either. A holistic and collaborative effort from the platforms, lawmakers and independent initiatives who know the reality of the issue, not just the theory, would be a positive start. Until then, we’ll share our locations with friends, add another dick pic to our screenshots folder and delete messages with trembling hands, hoping that one day our safety will finally become a priority.
Why should it? Everyone's safety should be a priority. What set of genitalia you possess shouldn't give you a head start, given young men are assaulted and killed at a rate of at least two to one...
Some people just aren't cut out for social media
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