Hoots Mon!

There's more to be worried about than a moos loose aboot your hoos if you live north of The Wall next year (and for this, you can blame your government):

Scotland could become the new XL Bully capital due to breeders dumping the unwanted dogs north of the border before the new ban is implemented.

Images of the dogs being moved in cages have spread on social media platforms with one captioned 'We found safe homes for them all in Scotland'.

Another post showed six of the dogs in a van being transported north from Manchester ahead of the ban on the breed.

Did anyone really believe that someone who wanted one of these grotesque mutts in the first place would be a responsible pet owner who would spend the necessary money to comply with the exemptions (neutering, muzzling, insurance) in the ban? 

'It's All The Fault Of Climate Change!' Pt 1798541

High temperatures and air pollution has previously been linked to aggression in humans, monkeys, rats and mice.

Now a study spanning 10 years has found the phenomenon also applies to man's best friend.

Wha..? Where did you get this from, Ambush? 

Well, Reader...

A teenager and two adults were rushed to hospital after a dog attack inside a home. The incident took place in the early hours of the morning of June 23 in a property in Leverington, Cambridgeshire.

Dangerous dog officers were called to the home just after 3am, finding three people involved injured at the scene.

Emergency services remained at the scene through the early hours and into the morning with a cordon placed around the house.

An investigation is also currently ongoing into the incident, reports Cambridgeshire Live.

Yup, 'climate change', I'm sure that's the cause.  

Chivalry Is Dead, No Flowers Please...

Karen Alcock, 41, faced a judge at Lincoln Crown Court following the death of her daughter Kyra Leanne King.

She was charged with being the owner and/or in charge of a dog which was out of control causing injury resulting in death. Alcock today pleaded guilty while Kyra's father Vince King, 54, denied the charge.

Oh..? 

Alcock will be sentenced next year while King will stand trial next June.

Addressing them both, Judge Simon Hirst said: 'Miss Alcock you've pleaded guilty and taken responsibility for what's happened and that will stand you in really good stead with the court when it's your sentence time.'

Counting on a pussy pass, I'm guessing? 

'Mr King you wish to have a trial as is your right.

'Given that your defence is effectively this is nothing to do with you, it's all to do with Miss Alcock, I'm afraid Miss Alcock will have to wait till the trial to be sentenced.'

What a fine specimen of manhood you chose to breed with, Miss Alcock.

Lincolnshire Police said the dog was being kept in isolation at secure kennels and officers were seeking a court order to have it destroyed.

Once again, the expense could all be avoided if ppolice shot the thing on the spot...