If At First You Don't Succeed....

...stick on a wig and some lippy, and try again!

A trainee firefighter has been accused of jumping the queue to qualify after they failed to pass the physical exam as a man and then said they were changing gender to 'take advantage of lower pass marks' required by female candidates.

*gets the popcorn* 

The candidate, known as David, initially failed to pass the exam as a man by not achieving a high enough score. But shortly after receiving the news, it has been claimed the firefighter then announced they were changing gender.

Just like that? Yes, apparently. This is Spain. 

According to the rules in Spain, a woman can qualify by achieving a lower score in the physical tests because of the strength differences between sexes. It comes as Spain introduced its Trans Law last year, which allows anyone to legally change gender without medical evaluation or justification on psychological grounds.

Well, you made your beds, senors, now you get to lie in them!  

Won't Do Anything About Shoplifters...

While the authorities are targeting criminal gangs who distribute dodgy fire sticks — conducting police raids and making arrests — they are also starting to create a list of names of people who are using the sticks illegally. Police have this year started knocking on doors and asking users to stop using the devices in their homes.

...but will come and knock on your door if they think you're watching 'Mrs Brown's Boys' on catchup illegally.

Detective Inspector Steve Payne, from the Bedford-based Eastern Region Special Operations Unit of the police, which led the investigation, says: ‘We have also gained access to the details of those purchasing the streams and I would remind anyone doing so that they will be breaking the law and could ultimately be subject to criminal proceedings.

‘The two arrests made last week are part of an investigation into a sophisticated large-scale criminal operation that has generated significant sums through the illicit sale of TV subscription packages.

‘Money generated through illegal means such as this often funds wider organised criminality.’

You couldn't make it up, could you? 

But If It Wasn't For 'Virtue-Signalling, Gesture Politics Nonsense'...

...the Alba Party wouldn't have any policies!

It should come as little surprise that an exhibition dedicated to exploring the history of warfare features part of the wreck of a German aircraft bearing Nazi insignia. But bosses at Edinburgh Castle are facing extraordinary calls to remove the exhibit from the National War Museum on its grounds – amid claims that the sight of a swastika may upset some tourists.

'Don't mention ze war!' 'But, it's a War Museum!' 'I said, DON'T..!' 

Chris McEleny, general secretary of Alex Salmond's Alba Party, has written to Culture Secretary Angus Robertson, claiming that the use of the Nazi symbol is a 'national embarrassment'. He also objects to the 'crudely named' Redcoat Café, which is also on the castle grounds and is named after the red- uniformed British troops who fought against the Jacobites.

Of course he did. Why not? He's a deeply unserious politician, so expecting serious politics from him is a waste of time.. 

Last night, Stuart Crawford, a former Army officer and defence commentator, condemned 'virtue-signalling, gesture politics nonsense from Mr McEleny'.

Better to condemn those who vote such jokes into the position in the first place, Stuart... 

And When Will They Hold A Hearing Into The HR Department?

A hearing to decide Mr Karim's compensation will be held at a later date.

Because he should never have been taken on in the first place!

The tribunal in central London heard the trainee joined the Metropolitan Police in 2015 as a probationer police constable, and passed an initial hearing test.

How?!? And is that initial test now being revised as a consequence of this debacle?

...the police officer was also made to complete role play tests to prove his ability to work at an operational level. Senior officers conducting the tests were concerned Mr Karim was over-reliant on the Rogers Pen and that if he used it in a real street policing scenario, someone could knock it out of his hands, the tribunal was told.

During a 'police chase' test, the officer's hearing aid battery ran out, and Mr Karim had to stop and change it, the panel heard. In another test scenario, moreover, Mr Karim had to ask for messages to be repeated and said the blue lights were giving feedback to his hearing aids - describing the sound as 'torture.'

All the officers who conducted the tests believed 'Mr Karim was not capable of becoming a fully operational and effective police officer'.

Maybe they should be moved to HR forthwith to oversee future recruitment? 

I'm not saying that being deaf should rule someone out of any job in the police, but it should be clear as daylight to anyone with a smidgen of common sense that operational front-line coppering is not that job...

A further claim of direct discrimination - in which he accused the Met of making a 'stereotypical assumption' that his hearing impairment 'rendered him incapable' of doing the job - was dismissed, however.

As it should have been. But why did the Met ever think he would be capable in the first place? Did identity politics overrule common sense. Again? 

The True Enemy Within...

Staffordshire county council has agreed to remove the name of terrorist Usman Khan, who killed two people in the London Bridge attacks, from a council report over concerns it could 'inflame' the far right.

What has it got to do with Staffordshire, anyway? 

In 2019, Cambridge University graduates Jack Merritt, 25, and Saskia Jones, 23, were attacked and killed by convicted terrorist Khan, 28, who was born in Stoke-on-Trent.

Ah. Well, no doubt they do want to obscure that inconvenient fact. But a fact it remains. Still, these loony-left councils, eh? What are they l... 

At the Conservative-run council's Safeguarding Overview and Scrutiny Committee...

Oh! 

...councillor Gillian Pardesi argued that including Khan's name and ethnic background could provoke an increase in hate crime.

How? 

The chairman of the committee disagreed with cllr Pardesi and said the authority should be wary of 'watering down' information that was in the public domain.

Councillor Bob Spencer said: 'I think the expression of how that translates into the far-right threat is not 100 per cent clear.

'I think we ought to be careful about how we report some of the things and some of the words that we use. However, having said that, if we are simply mirroring or echoing the phrases and words already used by the coroner, that gives it the requisite validity around us using those as well. 'I think this is public knowledge and within the public domain - we're not telling people something that they don't know. I don't see the value personally in changing the language of Home Office reports. I do worry about us constantly watering down facts.'

But sadly, Bob, you're not getting any traction. Richard Littlejohn is rather more forthright:

...it does give yet another depressing insight into the official mindset when it comes to downplaying Islamist atrocities, especially on British soil. This isn't just confined to pusillanimous politicians, the Guardianistas who run the justice system and the Home Office, or the officer class at Scotland Yard, all brainwashed by the Left-wing freemasonry Common Purpose. It now extends throughout every branch of government and so-called 'public service', including Staffordshire council.

Quite! 

The Decline Of Personal Responsibility Accelerates...

In a landmark case that has deep implications for other higher education institutions, the parents of Natasha Abrahart successfully sued the University of Bristol under the Equality Act.

Abrahart, 20, a physics undergraduate who suffered from severe social anxiety, died a day before she was due to give a “terrifying” oral exam in front of teachers and fellow students.

Shouldn't oral exams be expected to be a part of university life? 

Her parents sued the university under the Equality Act for not taking reasonable care of their daughter’s wellbeing, health and safety, arguing it did not do enough to help her despite staff knowing she had a disability and was struggling deeply.

In a judgment issued on Friday at Bristol county court, judge Alex Ralton said: “There can be no doubt that there was direct discrimination, especially once the university knew or should have known that a mental health disability of some sort was preventing Natasha from performing.”

So, the wicked university did nothing to help her? Hmmm, not quite. 

But not enough, according to her parents, who seem to have expected the university to accommodate their daughter, and not their daughter to accommodate the requirements of her chosen subject: 

Abrahart said his daughter struggled to speak to people she did not know, particularly people in positions of authority.

“Expecting Natasha to take part in oral assessments was like expecting a student in a wheelchair to take an exam in a room at the top of a long flight of stairs.”

Except it isn't. The student can be provided with an exam in a ground floor, but still has to take the exam. 

And the university did offer alternatives:

“Our staff’s efforts also included offering alternative options for Natasha’s assessments to alleviate the anxiety she faced about presenting her laboratory findings to her peers.

“Given the significant impact this decision could have on how all higher education providers support their students, we are reviewing the decision carefully, including whether to appeal.”

Maybe on appeal, we'll find out why those offered alternatives weren't deemed suitable, because it's not explicit in this article: 

The university has argued that it had tried to offer Abrahart alternatives to the oral presentation.

But the judge observed that, “whilst a few ideas” regarding possible adjustments were “floated” by the university, “none were implemented”.

Why not? Is it because she turned them down? It would be good to know, wouldn't it? 

Should've Gone To SpecSavers, 'Metro' Headline Writer...

Are they just gaslighting their entire readership?

Police boarded the train at Reading station in Berkshire and searched her, but no weapons were found. She was arrested and held for questioning.

At Reading magistrates’ court, Clifton, of Weybridge, Surrey, admitted religiously aggravated behaviour and being in breach of a criminal behaviour order. She was sentenced to 26 weeks in prison.

Which prison? It better not be a woman's prison... 

Sgt James Smith, of British Transport Police, said outside court: ‘Clifton’s disgusting and unprovoked actions on the train were completely unacceptable.

There's a few other things in this case that are 'completely unacceptable'... 

‘We take incidents of hate crime extremely seriously. Behaviour where someone is targeted because of who they are or made to feel uncomfortable will not be tolerated anywhere on the rail network.

I'm made to feel uncomfortable. Can you guess why? 

‘I am thankful to the courts for the sentenced imposed and hope it gives her time to reflect on her behaviour.’

There you go! That's what makes me - and hundreds of thousands of other women - uncomfortable. The official pretence that a man in a dress will be treated as a woman, and admitted to women's safe spaces, simply because that's what he claims to be.... 

Fewer People Like Lloyd Or Nate Is A Good Thing, That's True...

When Lloyd Williamson lay on his back in a GP’s clinic late last November, it was for the surgical culmination of years of soul searching. Williamson, who is 30 and from Essex, remembers wanting a family as a child, but something changed in his early 20s. “I thought: you know what? I don’t want to bring a life into this world, because it’s pretty shitty as it is and it’s only going to get worse,” he says, two weeks after his vasectomy.

You'd think his personality would be contraception renough, wouldn't you?  

Williamson, who works as a data support officer for Essex county council (he stood unsuccessfully as a Green party councillor in Chelmsford in 2019), says he knows of other young, childless men who are thinking of doing the same thing.

But then, this is Essex! 

Sadly, it's not confined to Essex:

It should not be surprising that a generation with increased awareness of the climate emergency is asking big questions about traditional family structures.

Translation: "These people are stupid enough to swallow anything, so no wonder they collude in their own destruction!" 

For Nate Miller (not his real name), a 36-year-old from Colorado, the election in 2016 of Donald Trump, a climate science denier, was the clincher.

Good. Maybe when enough of these people have embraced their own destruction, the overall IQ will go up a point or two. 

One Down, How Many More Left?

“Your offending left a wholly-unqualified person in charge of an important role in the local NHS infrastructure. This offence is so serious that only an immediate custody is justified.”

What went wrong with the NHS hiring process this time? Well, it seems...everything! 

Chanelle Poku, 29, pretended she had a Master’s degree in molecular biology and experience leading a charity to land a senior job with NHS Croydon’s Clinical Commissioning Group.

She was put in charge of delivering programmes for urgent care patients in the borough, and when challenged over her failing performance she made a string of false accusations of bullying, assault and racism.

Poku, who even sent a bogus letter from a lawyer to the NHS to try to derail the investigation into her conduct, was found guilty by a jury of fraud by false representation.

I'm not entirely sure the rest of the NHS isn't guilty of that, frankly. Even those who genuinely do have the qualifications... 

The judge said it is “somewhat surprising” that she was still able to negotiate the interview process.

The judge clearly hasn't had a lot of experience of the 'service' the NHS supposedly provides, has he? 

'This Private Company Is Failing...'

'..so let's employ another to check them!'. This is the logic here:

Criminal checks on home-to-school transport drivers will be independently checked, it has been announced - following claims it should not be "for the contractor to self-police".

Birmingham City Council cabinet member Cllr Sharon Thompson has said an external company will support the council in verifying disclosure and barring service (DBS) checks on all drivers.

Presumably their own staff haven't proved up to the task? 

A report published by Birmingham City Council noted that 59 out of 110 employees at North Birmingham Travel involved in the contract did not appear to have a documented DBS (Disclosure and Barring Service) check in place.

Sixteen staff had 'positive disclosures' - meaning they included cautions, convictions or other criminal disclosures, which are not an automatic bar but are subject to further scrutiny - but "officers could only assure themselves about two".

A further allegation said a document relating to DBS checks appeared to have been tampered with.

At least the private companies' services can be dispensed with by cancelling the contract. We're stuck with the local authority staff. 

This'll Go Down Well At Friday Prayers...

Teachers can help counteract the rise of the “incel” movement and the dangers of misogyny with school lessons on respect for women and healthy relationships, ministers believe.

Start with the mosques, shall we? 

A government source said that Gavin Williamson, the education secretary, expects teachers to be able to tackle the risks from incel culture through the relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) curriculum within schools.

Ah! No danger of shaking anyone's worldview then, since they probably don't let their children attend these anyway... 

It follows concerns sparked by Britain’s worst mass shooting in over a decade, in which Jake Davison, 22, killed five people including his mother and a toddler in Plymouth last week.After the attack, it emerged he had shown interest in the incel – or involuntary celibate – online culture fuelled by misogyny and abuse of women. Police are investigating whether this was a motive for the shootings.

Going to run up against the thorny issue then, that he didn't solely target women, aren't you? 

On Thursday, an inquest heard that he argued with his mother, for whom he expressed hatred online, before the killing spree.

He's dead, she's dead...how do they know?

But maybe I'm making light of a serious issue, and there's lots of Jake Davisons out there (thanks, GPs!)? Are the people who make a living off this sort of thing seeing a lot of cases? 

William Baldét, a Prevent coordinator and practitioner in countering violent extremism for 10 years, said: “I’ve not personally seen anyone coming through who was explicitly driven to violence by the incel community but we have seen an increase in people engaging with those subcultures. It may be because we are better at recognising it, it may be because of an increase, or both.”

Ah. And if he can't manufacture it... 

He added: “It’s clear that misogyny as a concept runs deep through a lot of extremist ideologies. Incel is different in that it’s built around a hatred of women and feeling of inferiority, rather than bringing about societal change, but there’s a related need to tackle misogyny across society. That should be part of the whole system, at every level, and not just framed trough (sic) counter-terrorism.”

Of course, he can. They always can, can't they? 

You Could Alway, Oh, I Don't Know, Be A Parent?

This column is not, of course, about how the son will cope at all, Reader, you'll no doubt be unsurprised to hear... 

I have to tread carefully here, of course. I respect the protocols and think they should be followed. I’m also keenly aware that the prospect of 10 days without childcare is hardly the most onerous blow people have experienced in the past 18 months.

I'm sure those Afghans plummeting to their deaths from a US plane had your struggles firmly in their minds... 

In the end, my wife worked in the mornings and I took the afternoons. For his part, the boy was very pleased. He’s still pretty sketchy on his days of the week, but even he began to wonder why the weekend was lasting so long. Not that he was complaining; he delighted in the strangeness of his break like it was a summer holiday from a dead-end job.

That your son is delighted to have both parents actually pay him attention rather than farming him out to strangers should give you pause, if you possessed a shred of self-awareness. 

To be honest, it astonishes me that he relishes time away from nursery since I’ve been in that place and it’s amazing. I don’t want to be reductive, but I think I’d quite like a nine-to-five routine where I got to build Lego and play at water tables all day, with a dozen of my closest friends.

Remind me again, who's the child in this situation? 

"Rules? Those Are For Other People..."

A father of three was sentenced to prison at a hearing described by campaigners as a return to secrecy in the family courts.

The 15-month suspended sentence was delivered anonymously despite firm rules to judges they should never give prison or suspended terms without naming the individual.

What do rules mean to the people who feel entitled to rule over us? 

The ruling came after the man repeatedly defied a judge's order to stop trying to make contact with his sons.

Ah! Just as with police the real crime here is not doing as you're told... 

Open justice campaigners criticised the decision and yesterday senior judges launched an inquiry into the suppression of the father's name.

The ruling by Judge Gillian Matthews QC appears to run directly against open justice rules established eight years ago that say no adult should be handed a prison sentence in the family courts without being publicly named.

A female judge? Weren't we always told we needed more of these to 'improve' the dispensation of justice? 

How's it going? 

Her sentence follows an earlier nine-month prison term imposed on the father in December 2019 after he snatched the three boys from their mother. The children were taken back from him by police who stopped his Mercedes on the M4.

At the 2019 sentencing, Judge Matthews did allow him to be publicly named.

Wait, what? So...he's already been identified? By the same judge? 

My flabber is well and truly ghasted...

Surely The Bigger Question Here Is...

A convicted terrorist has been sent back to jail after hiding his job as a lorry driver from police.

Andrew Rowe, 50, failed to declare the vehicles he was driving while employed by Serco as a rubbish collector in 2019, in breach of a notification order.

...why the hell is Serco employing convicted criminals to drive their vehicles? I thought we had a plethora of post lockdown job-seekers?

Prosecutor Peter Ratliff said: 'This defendant lost his job as a consequence of these proceedings.'

Why was he even given it in the first place? Doesn't anyone think before they employ people any more? 

Or is there some quota for employing ex-cons that gets companies grant money or kudos from the government?

What Would We Do Without 'Experts'..?

Replacing pointed-tip kitchen knives with rounded blades could help reduce knife crime and prevent serious injuries within the home, according to research at De Montfort University Leicester (DMU).

Wait, haven't we been here before? Reader, yes. Yes, we have... 

In a study led by senior lecturer in Forensic Science at DMU, Leisa Nichols-Drew, five kitchen knives – each with a different type of blade tip – were used for ‘stab tests’ on items of clothing, to examine the damage caused by each knife.

In collaboration with DMU’s Dr Rachel Armitage and Dr Kevin Farrugia, University of Leicester’s Professor Robert Hillman and Northumbria University’s Dr Kelly Sheridan, Leisa conducted 300 ‘tests’ using a single downward stabbing motion on four garments, including a t-shirt, a pair of denim jeans, a long-sleeved jumper and a faux leather skirt – all made from different materials.

Your taxes undoubtedly went - somehow, probably grants - towards three 'scientists' stabbing clothing all day. This is why we don't have flying cars yet! 

“We want to remove the need for pointed knives. The majority of fatal injuries are caused by penetrative stabbings,” she added.

Prior to joining DMU, Leisa was a practitioner for the Home Office’s Forensic Science Service, working on some of Britain’s most notorious major crime cases. She later worked as a trainer for the police, judiciary and Crown Prosecution Service to improve their forensic awareness.

“My time in case work definitely inspired me to want to do this research,” she said. “I remember thinking at the time that there had to be a way to lower the risk of these terrible crimes from happening.”

And all it'll take is for everyone in the UK to change their entire kitchenware! Dream big, girlie. 

'Only In Brighton' Pt 782468

Deliveroo riders in the city will display pronouns on their bags as part of LGBT pride month.

The takeaway company's new delivery bags will make it clear if workers want to be referred to as he/him, she/her, they/them or some combination of terms.

/facepalm 

Hadi Moussa, chief business officer at deliveroo, said the company was a "proud ally".

He said: "Pride 2021 is about embracing inclusivity and we are delighted to give our Deliveroo riders the opportunity to take to the streets with bags displaying Pride flags in a show of support for the community.”

And if they don't take up the opportunity? What will you do then? 

It's Victimhood Chess, Not Poker!

Posting on Twitter, Andrea wrote: "I’m absolutely disgusted. This nail Salon Style Studio in South Wimbledon called me to cancel the appointment because they don’t do nails on man.

Andrea added: "When she first called up and asked me directly 'Are you a man or a woman?', I was puzzled, because that question asked with that intention felt transphobic anyway.

"Once she heard my voice, she went 'Oh, so you're a man', and hung up the phone.

"I was shocked - what just happened? But I felt like I had to say something, so I called them out on Twitter and Instagram."

Of course you did, sweetie... 

"Best part is that I identify as gender fluid, so I'm also a woman."

Errr, no. I don't think that's how it works. 

But I think the nail bar woman's queen is in trouble here. 

Salon Director Maria told the Wimbledon Times that the cancellation was due to the beautician's own religious beliefs.

She said: "As a Muslim woman she is not allowed to touch another male under any circumstances.

"It would not be out of place to mention that the same way Andrea has stated on all the social media platforms that there must be equal treatment towards non-binary or transgender individuals, I strongly believe that the beautician has the same right in relation to her religion."

Ouch! Check, mate!  

"Furthermore, we only have one beautician at the salon at the moment, due to the lockdown and Covid situation."

Oh, throwing in covid is just overkill!