What Sort Of 'Improved Access'...?

We joined Claire Wood, who is from Manchester, and Clare Birnie, from Bradford, on a sunny autumn walk around Swinsty Reservoir near Harrogate to learn more about their plus-size outdoor experiences. The women are part of the Yorkshire branch of Every Body Outdoors - a group dedicated to improving access to the great outdoors for plus-size people.

It's the wide outdoors, what more do these landwhales need?

"There is no competitive element, we're not racing (Ed: *stifles comment*), we've got no target," Ms Wood said. "It's literally just because outdoor spaces are traditionally not welcoming for those of us in bigger bodies." 

In what way? Well, by just being there, it seems.

She said she had never tried to join a "traditional" walking group because she assumed she would slow everybody down and was worried that she would need to stop for a rest while the rest of the group carried on without her.

Ms Birnie, 40, who described herself as a "comfortably fat woman", recalled a time when she tried to join a walking group. She said: "I'm actually quite an experienced walker with my husband, we've been going out for 15 years, but I wanted to go on a group hike.

"I contacted the organiser and said, 'By the way I'm in a bigger body, I am capable and happy walking a distance and I can absolutely achieve what we're looking to do, but I just will be slower'."

"It felt like they didn't even look at what I'd written," she said angrily when referring to a walk she went on with the group. "Within the first 200m they had just bounded off with the rest of the group and it made me feel very unwelcome.

"It made me feel very excluded and I got very upset during the day."

FFS, she actually thought everyone else should slow down so she could keep up with them. How utterly narcissistic! 

It also campaigns for clothing, gear and representation for plus-size bodies in the outdoor movement. Ms Wood said there was a lack of outdoor clothing available for plus-size people. "We have money to spend, there's money to be made, we want to buy these things, we need these things," she added.

Well, if manufacturers aren't making them because there's not enough demand, have you thought of starting your own business? 

Rebecca Dawson, one of the founders of Every Body Outdoors, set up the clothing company Vampire Outdoors in 2022 because she was so fed up with not being able to find suitable outdoor clothing that fitted plus-size people. She has been a keen hiker for more than 10 years and said: "It's 100% a problem. There is a size bias to people doing outdoor activities.

"A lot of clothing manufacturers and retailers don't recognise that people in bigger bodies want to do outdoor activities, including the more adventurous things like long-distance hiking and mountaineering."

See? That's how it's done, ladies. 

Well, Don't Buy It Then!

Menopause campaigner Kate Muir is upset at health food giant Holland & Barratt:

'Joking aside, we need to recognise this as a hormone deficiency which is very serious. There is a peak in suicide among women in perimenopause. Women need to know they can go to the NHS and get proper help, rather than relying on chocolate bars.'

Have you seen the state of the NHS love? The choccy bar is easier to obtain!  

The health food giant claims the sweet treat, which contains a woman's entire daily allowance of saturated fat, soothes menopause symptoms and provides 'mood support'. Instructions on the pack say each 75g bar contains 'one daily dose', adding: 'We suggest splitting it in two and having one half in the morning and one in the evening.

'They boast that it contains vitamin B6, which is naturally present in almonds, claiming it 'contributes to the regulation of hormonal activity'.

Menopause is a totally natural process. Why are so many women desperate to try to stop it?  

Social media users raged at Holland & Barrett. One person re-labelled the product as 'depression support almonds for men', writing: 'Do you think they'll be duped into buying it?'Another said the snack was 'insulting to the female race'.

Oh, good grief!  

No, The Tories Aren't Behind Every Bad Thing That Happens...

Rob Cowen on the Sycamore Gap issue:

Trees can mean an awful lot to us. They are deep-rooted, for want of a better phrase, in our culture and mythology. And the outpouring of grief and anger over the destruction of that single sycamore has been widespread, from environmentalists and nature charities to politicians and celebrities.

Yes, indeed. It was a monumentally awful thing to do. And with the culprit still at large and the motive unknown. 

There is a bitter irony to the fact that on the same day the tree was cut down, the National Trust unveiled its own grim news: a report on the state of nature in Britain.

Not half as bitter as the report that when someone went and planted a new sapling, they promptly dug it up, eh. Rob? 

We live in what purports to be a progressive, civilised and “nature-loving” nation that is one of the wealthiest on the planet and yet we have a government that has just proudly and systematically backtracked on its commitments to meet climate imperatives and torn up its environmental policies and promises.

What does that have to do with someone's lone act of vandalism? Until they are caught, we'll never know if this was politically motivated, will we? 

How can we expect people to form the kind of connections with this living world that might stop a tree-cutter’s saw or force a change in habits if they cannot be in it? How can we ask people to protect something they have no sense of belonging in, or to?

But you see, for Rob, of course it must be a political act caused by 'the Tories'. Because for Rob, everything is... 

Enforced Celebration...

A Welsh-speaking school has been put into special measures...

Discipline problems? Pupils failing to read, write, add up? 

...for letting children speak too much English.

*blinks* 

Inspectors found many of the 331 pupils at the primary 'turn to English naturally' when chatting and were not given enough chances to 'celebrate their Welshness'.

There's an '...or else!' hanging there, isn't there? Think about what they are actually saying - they want to force the children to do something unnatural. 

Their report said: 'The quality of teaching is inconsistent.

'At times, work that is incorrect is marked as being correct and given positive comments.'

What happened to 'all must have prizes'..? Doesn't that translate well into Welsh? 

The school will be checked every four to six months and given areas to improve. Penarth consistently appears in lists of Britain's best places to live and is sought after for its seaside charm as well as its proximity to Cardiff.

I wonder how long that will continue? 

To Be Fair, It's Only A Little Problem...

*sighs*

This winter has seen the release of two new major fantasy series, Willow (Disney+), set years after the original film, and The Witcher: Blood Origin (Netflix), a prequel to the hugely successful series The Witcher, based on the books of the same name by Andrzej Sapkowski. Both feature actors with dwarfism playing fantasy dwarves in central roles.

You might be thinking “hurrah for diversity!”...

No, as a long-suffering 'Guardian' reader, I can assure you I'm not! I know what's likely to be coming. 

...but the existence of fantasy dwarves on screen holds a complex and sensitive history for those of us who have dwarfism off screen.

*sighs even harder*

So, you want to ban real-life dwarves from acting? 

On the other hand, the decision Peter Jackson made not to cast actors with dwarfism in his The Hobbit film series and The Lord of the Rings felt frustrating at the time, given the aforementioned lack of jobs offered to actors with dwarfism.

Oh. So, you want to have your cake and eat it. Like so many professional whingers... 

Of course, all of this is only fantasy, and people might be reading this thinking “it’s obvious those characters aren’t real, so what’s your point?”. My point is that we need to see more accurate dwarfism representation on screen before people who know nothing about us can reject the wealth of misinformation they often subconsciously consume.

Funny, whenever I watch 'Tenable', I think of it as 'that quiz show Warwick Davies hosts'. I don't think of it as 'that quiz show hosted by the dwarf actor'. 

Isn't that what we're supposed to be aiming for?