A pistol, rifle and deactivated World War One machine gun were among the items lost or stolen from Ministry of Defence facilities over the past two years.
Yikes! Usually, it's smaller, portable items that careless civil servants lose, isn't it?
Figures uncovered by the Liberal Democrats show more than 700 phones, laptops, computers and USB sticks also went missing over the period.
Ah. That's more like it. Wait, back up! What have the idiots in the LibDems got to do with this?
The party's defence spokesperson Helen Maguire said the losses were "deeply concerning", especially "at this time of heightened global security tensions".
Helen, sweetie, are you in the right job? You DO know that if the Russians or Chinese invade, they bring their own weapons, don't you?
How much of a threat are these, should they fall into the wrong hands, anyway?
A deactivated World War Two Luger Pistol and Sten submachine gun were both lost in June 2023. In July 2023 an SA80 rife was also lost, along with a deactivated World War One German machine gun the following month, although both have subsequently been found.
Meanwhile, a Glock 19 Pistol was stolen in December 2023.
Well, the Glock's modern so obviously not deactivated but surely re-activating the others is a pretty difficult job, as would be obtaining ammo.
And after all, it doesn't seem as if the modern criminal can't obtain firearms already. Terrorists prefer Henry Ford's invention these days,
The Lib Dems called for an urgent inquiry into how the items were misplaced and what was being done to reduce losses and thefts. Maguire said: "The government is more butterfingered than Goldfinger when it comes to national security.
"The loss of these crucial resources is deeply concerning - especially at this time of heightened global security tensions.
"Sensitive national safety information may end up in the wrong hands, while precious public money is spent on replacements in the meantime. And the theft of dangerous weapons should seriously raise alarm bells when it comes to security."
Calm yourself, Helen. Nice soundbite, I know, but really, we don't even know these things ever left the premises - they could simply be misfiled.
