'There are some longer-term consequences of the lockdown that concerns us...'

Wow, quite something for an MP to admit! Oh, wait, he's the school's minister..?

'... and one is that parents have been slightly more cautious about sending their child into school with a mild cold.'

Gosh! I wonder why? 

It comes as new analysis shows a 'staggering' increase in persistent absence from schools across the country following the pandemic.

Another flock of chickens hoves into view, clucking wildly... 

Professor of Social Mobility at the University of Exeter Elliot Major, who was part of the research team, said the rise in absenteeism has been 'startling'.

He said: 'This data shows the impact of coronavirus is sadly not just a one-off disruption, from which pupils would soon bounce back.

'The rise in absenteeism among pupils has been startling and there has been a staggering increase in persistent absence.

'We now face a national education crisis in the post-pandemic era: a huge slice of the Covid generation have never got back into the habit of regularly attending school.'

More popcorn, anyone? 

Sure You're Worrying About The Right Identity Group, Progressives?

Oh, those awful white right wing Christians, eh?

Oh! Ooops...

Don't They Say In Texas "You Can Run, But You Can't Hide"..?

I really hope it's true.

An investigation led by Republican Texas attorney general, Ken Paxton, has sent doctors at an Austin hospital into a panic, causing all the physicians in its adolescent medicine department to depart.

Hmmm, 'adolescent medicine'? Treating acne and growth spurts? 

Not quite! 

Earlier this week, Dell Children’s Clinic, which provides gender-affirming care for trans children, announced to parents that they would need to find new providers for their children in transition.

Let's hope this is just the start of the pushback against this insidious trend... 

Paxton’s office claimed the investigation was being conducted on the grounds that the care these children were receiving was illegal because they were under the age of 18.

How much under, I wonder? 

I Don't Think It's God's Own Country Anymore...

Ah, Yorkshire, fondly-remembered holiday destination of my youth, bucolic setting for... 

Oh:

A young woman has told of her horror after she found a man's freshly severed hand on the floor of a Huddersfield club after he was attacked by two males armed with machetes.

Nice! 

The drama unfolded around 5.15pm last night at Deighton WMC when the men in balaclavas ambushed a man in the club's smoking shelter. The incident comes just months after another man had one of his arms partially chopped off with a machete near the club in February.

When did Huddersfield turn into Mogadishu? 

Still, at least some of the natives retain the phlegmatic practicality I remember:

The woman, who lives just yards away, said: "I heard this sudden scrunch of metal and went to take a look and there was this man bleeding with his hand twitching on the floor. I picked it up and took it home and started clearing out my freezer.

"My dad told me to put in a bag surrounded by ice cubes and take it back to the club which I did."

Although...perhaps there's such a thing as being too phlegmatic: 

"I'd seen these two males who attacked him seconds before. And although they were in balaclavas I didn't think anything of it, it's not unusual around here. The next time I saw them they were running away - both were carrying huge machetes."

*blinks* 

It's Not 'A War On Motorists'...

Sadiq Khan could hike fares for London commuters by as much as 10 per cent from next year, it emerged today - as he was blasted for plans to expand the £12.50-a-day Ultra Low Emission Zone (Ulez) and introduce pay-per-mile charges for motorists.

...it's the inevitable consequences of the Covid measures on all public finances.

TfL, which Mr Khan oversees, saw its revenues collapse by as much as 95 per cent during the pandemic, and another bailout is needed to cover next April after which the organisation is expected to become 'financially sustainable'.

But almost certainly won't, after the consequences of the inevitable surrender to the rail unions which is surely next on the cards. We know they'll surrender, because it's what everyone in authority seems to do when faced with opposition, these days. 

'It almost feels like the Mayor of London is launching a war against commuters,' Commons Leader Mark Spencer said.

I hate to sound like I'm defending the useless Mayor of London on anything, but if it's a war, your government ordered us all over the top into the range of the enemy's artillery, didn't it?