It's Time These Climate Scientists Slept With The Fishes...

Keeping a tank of tropical fish could...

Be a rewarding hobby? Provide a means of relaxation at the end of a long working day? 

...contribute as much greenhouse gas as driving thousands of miles in a car or a motorbike, a study has found.

*sighs* Who the hell bothers to work this out? And why aren't they building my flying car, already? 

The carbon footprint and environmental impacts of keeping pet fish has been calculated for the first time by Cardiff University's Water Research Institute.

Oh. Wales. That figures. 

Dr Perry added: 'Ornamental fishkeeping can be a more environmentally conscious pet choice than owning an average sized dog or cat, which are likely to produce considerably more emissions through their consumption of meat.

Better forget the piranha then! 

'However, the environmental impacts of fishkeeping can also be substantial depending on aquarium size, how it is run and even what country it is in.

'There are still improvements that can be made to ensure the environmental sustainability of the hobby.'

I suspect that's not really uppermost in most aquarist's minds, Prof... 

'The environmental impact from the energy needs of keeping fish will improve as national energy grids start to decarbonize, but reducing the environmental impact of high water consumption will not come easily and will require ingenuity at the level of the individual.'

They like to get you coming and going, don't they? 

'These are important considerations as we face a climate emergency linked with our demands for energy, as well as water insecurity linked with our demands for water.'

If we were facing such a thing, it might possibly be, yes. But we aren't. And we're tired of your increasing hysteria in trying to persuade us of it... 

"His behaviour was very odd and not normal behaviour for anyone."

Baker qualified as a doctor in 1990 and became an oral and maxillofacial surgeon in 1999.

His vandalism of co-workers’ vehicles came to light recently when the GDC held a disciplinary hearing into his actions and decided to issue an interim suspension, which forbids him from working as a dentist until next February.

Clearly, this person has severe issues... 

At the GDC tribunal the lawyer representing the regulator said that the surgeon’s “criminal offending was not an isolated momentary lapse of judgment but rather appears to be something more sustained.

“[His] loss of control and resorting to violent or destructive behaviour [was] a real cause for concern.”

You'd imagine it is. But what did he have to say for himself? 

Baker did not offer any defence, attend the hearing or get a solicitor to represent him.

I'm sure he'll be all better by February... 

Inequality - It's For The Birds...

Feeding birds is hard-wired into our national psyche. The apocryphal Victorian “tuppence a bag” for seed for the Trafalgar Square pigeons has morphed into a national pastime, with an estimated 17m households spending £250m a year on more than 150,000 tonnes of bird feed – enough to feed the entire breeding population of the 10 most common feeder-using bird species year-round three times over.

Good for us, doing our bit gor nature! Strange to se a good news article in the 'Guardian', though? 

This was brought into sharp relief during the pandemic, with many of us discovering the joy of attracting birds to our own gardens after losing access to wildlife and wild spaces.

Oooh, I don't like where this is going. 'Joy'? We can't have that! 

So we know that bird-feeding can be good for humans, but what about for birds?

We could ask them? But...what could possibly be wrong with it? 

Blue tits, nuthatches and great-spotted woodpeckers have never had it so good. These species have something else in common though: they are all dominant species that can monopolise resources such as food and nesting sites.

Ah. Of course. No socialism to ensure sparrows and swallows go equally hungry! 

Marsh and willow tits, lesser-spotted woodpeckers, several migrant flycatchers and warblers have been slowly disappearing from the British landscape since the 1970s, as one woodland area after another has lost cherished members of its dawn chorus choir.

Look! It's even affecting migrants! No wonder the 'Guardian' is worried! 

Forced to develop strategies to survive, they have become more innovative and have diversified the ways they interact with the landscape. Unlike blue and great tits, the drabber and less obtrusive willow tits excavate their own nest holes, meaning they don’t have to wait until a natural cavity forms, which a more dominant species would probably take. This means they can occupy new sites, like young woodlands, which are unsuitable for their more imposing relatives. Similarly, the marsh tit collects and catches food and stores it for a rainy day – or a harsh winter. It is faster to find new food resources and has a stronger bill to deal with harder food items.

Hurrah! Innovation and adaptation saves the day...but wait. That can't be the answer, surely? 

But these fancy tactics are rendered null and void by bird feeders providing food 24/7; it is gobbled up by the dominant species, sending their numbers up, and increasing the threat to subordinate species.

See? It's all our fault, of course. Does the 'Guardian' have any suggestions? 

We badly need a better understanding of the consequences of bird feeding and, armed with this information, there is one clear piece of advice we can give for those concerned with bird populations. Where possible, improving habitat amount and quality in our gardens is a vastly more important gift to nature than any bird seed handouts.

That's if you have a garden. But what am I saying? Guardianistas always assume everyone lives like they do...