This Does Not Bode Well For The Future...

A school has changed its uniform rules to allow pupils to wear fake eyelashes due to 'mental health considerations'.

For the pupils, or the teachers? 

Parents were sent a letter informing them of the decision after attendance was affected by students wearing them.

Headteacher David Collins, of Knole Academy in Sevenoaks, Kent, said students were missing school to have their lashes removed or refusing to attend without them.

The letter said: 'We are increasingly seeing attendance affected by students taking time off to have false eyelashes removed or refusing to attend school through mental health considerations.

'Having students in school is the most important consideration and therefore... we shall allow false eyelashes to be worn as long as they are discreet.'

The lunatics really are running the asylum now. 

But one mother, whose daughter, 13, is a pupil at the school, said: 'We're a society being run by children, which I'm not going to stand for. Rules are rules and that's the end of it.'

If only! 

She said that in allowing fake eyelashes, the school was encouraging the girls to adopt age-inappropriate looks. The mother added: 'It's quite worrying because are they going to start getting the attention of older men?'

Probably not in Rochdale, where they like them a lot younger.

Well, We’ve Thrown Out Everything Else The Victorians Did…

And are we better for it?

England should ditch its school calendar “stuck in place since Victorian times” and replace it with shorter summer holidays and longer half-term breaks to improve the lives of pupils and teachers, according to a new report.

The report on tackling post-pandemic education inequalities, part of a project funded by the Nuffield Foundation to be published next month, is to recommend an overhaul of the school calendar that could see summer holidays in state schools reduced from six weeks to four, while half-term breaks in autumn and winter could each be extended from one week to two.

The holiday firms will have to scramble to readjust all their pricing if it is taken up! 

Lee Elliot Major, professor of social mobility at the University of Exeter and one of the report’s authors, said reforming the academic calendar in England would be an effective and low-cost way of tackling the educational divides that have grown since the pandemic.

“Spreading school holidays more evenly across the year makes complete educational sense: improving the wellbeing of pupils and the working lives of teachers at no extra cost, balancing out childcare costs for parents, and potentially boosting academic results for many children,” Major said.

For those saying we should at least give it a try....we have. 

Under Gove, free schools and academies were given more freedom to set their own calendars. But those adopting more radical timetables soon gave up in the face of opposition from parents and an inability to coordinate term dates with other schools.

But is that a reason not to try it on a much grander scale? For this failing government, almost certainly not. Like a drowning man, they are likely to clutch at anything.  

Well, We Don't Teach Latin Anymore...

...so to a modern teacher, 'in loco parentis' is probably all Greek to them.

'Upon arrival my partner found Chloe who was surrounded by six teachers, but no police presence or paramedics at that time.

'The left side of Chloe's face was plastered in blood.

'My partner questioned the staff as to why we were never called about the incident and to inform us that our daughter had been stabbed. 'Their response was that they presumed somebody had already called us.

You know what happens when you assume, don't you? 

'They also said that they also wanted to establish the truth before notifying the police. Two police officers did eventually arrive.

Wait, what? You're not detectives. A child has been assaulted and is bleeding, this is no time to get your Sherlock Holmes on. Leave it to the professionals, 

'This is absolutely appalling. The Wordsley School (Ed: motto: Our school is defined by its culture and ethos – 'the way things happen'.) needs to be held accountable for its major failings 

'We are absolutely distraught that this has happened to our daughter. We do not feel that our children are safe to return to school.

'The school do not seem able to provide us with answers as to why they have failed us.'

We can guess one thing now, and one only: all their efforts are being diverted to excuse their actions.  

'They said the lad had been escorted off the premises and was currently making his way home. To me that's a dangerous thing to do.'

Well, quite. He's been arrested and released on bail. The cops at least know their jobs.  

Ashley Weatherhogg, headteacher at Wordsley School, said: 'An incident took place in school yesterday afternoon, which is being dealt with through the school's behaviour policy. 

'The school is now following the normal procedures and carrying out a full investigation.'

Ahhh, 'procedures'. As long as those are followed, even if they run contrary to common sense, everything will be fine.  

You Cried 'Wolf' Once Too Often...

...and the parents now know there aren't any.

Parents who take their children out of school to go on holiday are damaging their life chances, the shadow education secretary warned yesterday.

Bridget Phillipson urged parents to 'reflect seriously' on the impact of unnecessary absences on their youngsters and the wider school community. In an interview yesterday, she said that while it can be 'tough', it is 'really important that children are in school' as 'every day matters'.

Do you think parents are going to swallow that now? When you did nothing during lockdown but slavisly support the government? 

Ms Phillipson's comments came as a new poll found almost one in three parents believe the coronavirus pandemic has shown it is not essential for children to attend school every day.

One wonders exactly what's wrong with the other two thirds that they don't believe that. 

And Why Shouldn’t You Be Questioned?

Guardian interviews with school leaders elsewhere revealed widespread concern about deteriorating behaviour among pupils, coupled with a lack of support for school policies from some parents, both issues highlighted in the Ofsted annual report last week.

“Behaviour has got worse, but what we don’t get is any support from the parents,” said one head of a secondary school in the Midlands, who did not want to be named. “They don’t want their children being sanctioned. They question more than they support.”

Why shouldn’t they question you? You’ve proven yourselves to be partisan, secretive and lazy. 

“In the past students were in lessons. They might be disruptive in lessons and you’d have to deal with that kind of behaviour. “But there’s a new thing coming up in schools in the last year and a half – students are turning up to school, but they don’t go into any lessons and they just wander around the building. They want to come for the social, but they don’t want to go into their lessons.

“So then I have to put a sanction in place and I’m having to suspend or put them in a removal room. But most of the time they don’t comply and the parents have no sway with the children either.”

Gosh, maybe that lockdown did some good after all, if it’s burst the ‘teacher as god’ bubble. 

There are more fights between pupils and more disruption from the setting off of fire alarms.

“But for us, the biggest issue is students just refusing to follow instructions point blank.”

In some cases when a child refuses to leave a classroom, the whole of the class has to move elsewhere instead.

Well, since schools are usually fans of collective punishment, I find it rather hard to really care…after all, it’s a rod you’ve clearly made for your own backs, after all:

Glyn Potts, headteacher of Saint John Henry Newman RC College in Oldham, said suspensions had doubled at his school, from 81 days last year to 161 days this year.

“I don’t necessarily think behaviour has got worse,” said Potts. “What I would say is the level of need and the level of complexity of young people has increased exponentially.”

Unmet special needs, mental health issues and persistent post-pandemic absence are all creating tensions in schools, which can result in breaches of the behaviour code.

“In the past we had naughty boys and girls who did things that were naughty,” Potts added. “Now it’s just far more complex than that.”

Maybe it isn’t, though? 

So, This Is A Step Too Far, Eh..?

School leaders have accused Labour of “window dressing” after Keir Starmer pledged to introduce...

...supervised toothbrushing for young children in England’s primary schools.

While the policy has long been supported by the dentistry profession as a way of curbing decay, headteachers said it was not appropriate for their staff to check whether pupils had cleaned their teeth.

It's not appropriate to check what parents are sending in for a packed lunch either, but that didn't stop them, did it?

Paul Whiteman, the general secretary of the National Association of Head Teachers, said: “We have serious reservations about how such a policy could even work. It is not the role of teachers to be making sure children brush their teeth each day.

“Schools already play a role in teaching children about the importance of looking after their teeth through the curriculum, but there has to be a limit in terms of what we can expect them to do.

“We should demand more than window dressing from all of our politicians.”

Oh, be quiet! You've already meddled in things that were the purview of parents, you can hardly claim it's not your role now... 

The British Dental Association, which represents the profession, said it was encouraged by Labour’s proposal, given ministerial inaction over introducing a similar scheme.

So, have the hapless Labour brains trust decided there's more votes to come from dentists than from  teachers? Because maybe they shouldn't have let Diane Abbott do the maths...  

You've Only Yourselves To Blame...

...because your actions helped the scales fall from their eyes:

Pre-pandemic, ensuring daily attendance was considered a tenet of good parenting, but now it's socially acceptable to take children on holiday in term time. From there, it's not such a big step to abandoning school altogether.

And for very good reasons... 

All pointed to an education system in crisis. Some parents felt schools were failing their children academically or emotionally, painting a picture of a generation of children anxious in the aftermath of lockdown. Others felt they were hotbeds of violence and bullying. Some cited a new educational 'woke' agenda which they felt had become uncomfortably prevalent, and was being presented to children at far too young an age.

Something we can genuinely thank the hysteria over covid for is that it enabled parents to get a good look at what went on in schools.  

'Home education is changing out of all recognition at the moment,' explained Jacky, the lead for home education at a local authority in the north of England, who spoke to me off the record. 'Covid revealed a lot,' added Ziggy Moore, founder of Moore Education, an online tuition programme for maths and English, who has seen a boom in business because of parents home-schooling and also using private tutors. Thanks to online lessons during lockdown, parents observed how schools were educating their kids up close — and what they saw did not please them.

One wonders why more parents don't seem concerned... 

The curriculum is another cause for concern. Emily, from an upper-middle-class family, worked for a charitable foundation until an incident at her daughter's state school forced her to opt for home-schooling. Her seven-year-old daughter had become increasingly anxious and depressed. 'She finally admitted she was scared men with terrifying weapons were going to come and take her away and told me: 'And I won't see you again!' ' Baffled, Emily looked through her daughter's school workbooks — and found they contained the story of Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani education activist who was shot in the head by the Taliban aged 15 on her way to school. 'My daughter is seven. She does not know where Pakistan is. This is an issue in Islamic countries, but no teacher will point that out because it's considered racist. So my daughter thinks this is happening in Clapham.'

If the Education Secretary had his way, it probably would!  

Who Is The Customer?

It's not you or your child, is it?

Bean Primary School has banned packed lunches for children in Year 1 and Reception due to the need to guarantee a certain number of cooked dinners from the meal provider. But parents are outraged by the implementation of the policy which they say strips their children of their choice between a packed lunch or a hot dinner.

Why would a school ever sign such a contract? You never agree to something that's not in your control, or you have to then attempt to control it... 

Some also bemoan the quality of the cooked lunches - citing meals such as 'onion bhaji and chips'.

Surely a carb-heavy meal is the worst thing for promoting attentiveness in an after-lunch lesson? 

However, the headteacher of the school in the village of Bean, Kent, insists the lunches are of excellent quality and include alternatives for children with special dietary requirements.

I wonder if she - and the rest of the staff - are forced to eat them too? I can bet what the answer is... 

Fay Armitage, whose lactose intolerant daughter Bonnie is in Reception at the school, is vehemently opposed to the new policy. She says four-year-old Bonnie regularly comes home with tummy aches from school as she's no longer able to control how much dairy she has in her diet. Mrs Armitage was hoping to send Bonnie to school each day with a packed lunch so she would know exactly what she'd eaten throughout the day. But parents have now been forbidden to do so, as all children in Reception and Year 1 must partake in school dinners.

It should never, ever be the case that a school tries to dictate what children must eat. Haven't they learned that lesson in the past? 

The new policy currently only applies to children in Reception and Year 1. But under the government's universal infant free school meals (UIFSM) policy, the same scheme will gradually be rolled out to each new academic year group until it covers the entire school, and there are three choices to order from. Parents are now arguing that under the new policy, Unicef children's rights, which the school is signed up to, have been breached.

Is popcorn allowed, because I need to go get some! 

'There are some longer-term consequences of the lockdown that concerns us...'

Wow, quite something for an MP to admit! Oh, wait, he's the school's minister..?

'... and one is that parents have been slightly more cautious about sending their child into school with a mild cold.'

Gosh! I wonder why? 

It comes as new analysis shows a 'staggering' increase in persistent absence from schools across the country following the pandemic.

Another flock of chickens hoves into view, clucking wildly... 

Professor of Social Mobility at the University of Exeter Elliot Major, who was part of the research team, said the rise in absenteeism has been 'startling'.

He said: 'This data shows the impact of coronavirus is sadly not just a one-off disruption, from which pupils would soon bounce back.

'The rise in absenteeism among pupils has been startling and there has been a staggering increase in persistent absence.

'We now face a national education crisis in the post-pandemic era: a huge slice of the Covid generation have never got back into the habit of regularly attending school.'

More popcorn, anyone? 

That Long March Reached Some Pretty Exclusive Institutions...

Teachers at a leading sixth form will no longer answer to “Sir” and “Miss”, because they’re “deeply unequal” and feed into a view of the world that diminishes women, the school’s executive principal has told students.

Students will instead be required to address staff by their name – as in “Mr Handscombe” – and failing that, in an emergency where a pupil may have forgotten and needs a swift alternative, “teacher” will be acceptable, “in a pinch”.

How nice of him! It seems I've heard this before, though...

It is not the first time the school has tried to make the switch. When it opened in 2014, the same approach was attempted but there was too much else to think about, staff could not make it stick and “sank into cultural misogyny”, Handscombe told students.

Ah! But presumably, he thinks he's got a better chance now. I wonder why? 

“Which is what this is,” he said. “I don’t think that any of you are being actively woman-hating when you call ‘Miss’ over to get help with your chemistry, but we’re all feeding into a view of the world that diminishes women.

“Men get to be fearless leaders and alpha types, get credited for hustling whilst behind the backs of women it’s asked whether they deserve it, whether their career comes from good ideas or good looks, power moves or diversity lists.”

Maybe it's because everyone seems like they are just going to roll over and take it? 

Geoff Barton, general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders, said: “Addressing teachers as ‘Sir’ and ‘Miss’ is as old as the hills and something you’ll hear in many schools. It’s a way of implicitly reaffirming the authority of staff. But we live in changing times and obviously people are giving more and more thought to the use of language and its connotations.”

No, most people couldn't give a monkeys, Geoff ol' chum. It's a tiny unrepresentative selection that are driving this. Because people like you are too afraid to stand up to them. 

Which Schools, Joanne..?

Harris, who taught in an all-boys school for 15 years, said “the way we educate our children” must change if we wanted to see fewer crimes against women. 

She said: “We have to stop girls being apologetic when they have done nothing wrong. We have to stop boys being entitled when they’re actually not entitled to have more than anybody else. We’ve got to stop teaching them differently as teachers, that will help a lot.

“Also we’ve got to stop giving them the message that it’s wrong for a boy to read books about girls. Because even schools are giving them this message. And this is where the problem happens, where women’s voices are perceived as less.”

I mean, if you don't name any (and in these modern times, what school would dare give such a message?) we might think you're just talking absolute bollocks, mightn't we? 

 

 

Aren't You Forgetting The 'Render Unto Caesar' Bit..?

A Christian teacher who was jailed following his refusal to use gender-neutral pronouns (Ed: *sighs* No, he wasn't...) is back behind bars after again refusing to stay away from school.

At Dublin’s High Court today, Mr Burke, who was representing himself, maintained that he would not purge his contempt of court for violating the order, insisting that he was being persecuted for his faith.

Clearly, he isn't 'being persecuted' and as for his legal woes, it's not for his faith. I thought a committed Christian would know the injunction against bearing false witness... 

He will now face a hearing at the High Court at a later date, which yet to be confirmed. He will remain in custody until then unless he changes agrees to abide by the order to stay away from the school.

In court today when asked by Judge Eileen Roberts if he would abide by the order, he said: ‘I cannot do that. I go back to jail as a law-abiding citizen of the state always. But God first.’

God, if he existed, would probably think you're as much of a complete tosser as everyone else... 

Mr Burke’s parents, brother Isaac and sister Ammi, a qualified solicitor were with him in court and stared dispassionately as he was led away.

Heh! 

Aren't Schools Already Little Activist Factories..?

...decolonising the curriculum isn’t about burning copies of Macbeth, or chucking Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations in the bin. It’s not even about only studying writers from marginalised identities.

Says who? Why, says Nadeine Asbali, a secondary school teacher in London. And I guess she should know, eh, Reader?

As a mixed-race English teacher who believes strongly in diversifying the English syllabus, for me, it’s about re-examining the lens through which we view canonical texts in the first place – shifting it to become more critical, more aware of the systemic forces at play both within and around a text.

So much of Shakespeare is about power: who holds it and who doesn’t and why.

I wonder who it is that doesn't, in the gospel according to Nadeine? 

Decolonising the study of Shakespeare is to take these questions one step further, removing them from the text and applying them to the world around us. To teach students, through literature, to challenge the status quo.

What..? 

Call me a biased English teacher, but literature is the perfect medium for this.

I really don't need to call you anything, do I? You're doing a fine job there all by yourself... 

Unless you’ve experienced it, it’s hard to put into words how it feels to meet yourself in a book for the first time.

That's not why people read books, is it, Nadeine? Not ordinary people, anyway. 

I want to read about international spies, buccaneers on the high seas, daring spaceship pilots, FBI agents catching killers... I don't want to read about a middle aged middle class woman going to work in an office every day. 

The first time I did, I was an A-level student faced with Othello, whose contested “Moorish” background was the closest to my north African heritage I’d ever encountered on the page. And who did I meet? A man whose violence was likened to a wild beast and whose race rendered him a savage, a danger to white women.

Did...did you get to the end of the play, Nadeine? Because, ummm, no spoilers, but... 

Be Careful What You Wish For, Henry...

Worried children at a primary school in the most polluted area of a community have appealed to parents and carers to help them cut damaging fumes by walking and biking and not keeping vehicles running.

Out of the blue? They all just decided this off their own bat? 

Head boy Henry King said: “Year six students at Bedale Primary School have been getting increasingly worried. This issue is going to get bigger if we don’t act now. We can’t do it alone, we need your help.

“Our concern over this problem was created during a scientific lesson with Dr Matt Sawyer about the human body. He told us about the effect air pollution has on our bodies and we were really shocked. Health problems like asthma, heart and lung problems.”

Ah! Of course not. Yet more indoctrination.  

“We want none of this to happen to our students. We were shown a map colour coded to the worst areas of air pollution in Bedale. Firby Road and Benkhill Drive were a deep red; our school was surrounded by pollution. This is not good for our students' health. Here is how you can help.

“When you are in your car, don’t have it running, all of the exhaust fumes go into one place. Also, by not using your car, money on fuel and possibly someone's life could be saved. Walking, scooting and biking places is healthier for you and the environment. We can save the environment, one step at a time.”

OK, Henry. No more being driven to after school activities in Mummy's Volvo. No more crisps and yoghurt in the larder and fridge when you get back, either, Mummy's not allowed to go to the shops to replenish supplies.  

Oh, your Playstation isn't working? Well, on your bike with you to the repair shop!

You're a bit chilly up in your bedroom? Sorry, can't turn up the heating. That's polluting. 

What's that, your favourite rugby shirt is dirty and the other players are making fun of you? Oh, well, that eco-setting on the washing machine doesn't really work so well, I guess. Never mind. It's for the good of the planet, isn't it?

This'll Go Down Well At Friday Prayers...

Teachers can help counteract the rise of the “incel” movement and the dangers of misogyny with school lessons on respect for women and healthy relationships, ministers believe.

Start with the mosques, shall we? 

A government source said that Gavin Williamson, the education secretary, expects teachers to be able to tackle the risks from incel culture through the relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) curriculum within schools.

Ah! No danger of shaking anyone's worldview then, since they probably don't let their children attend these anyway... 

It follows concerns sparked by Britain’s worst mass shooting in over a decade, in which Jake Davison, 22, killed five people including his mother and a toddler in Plymouth last week.After the attack, it emerged he had shown interest in the incel – or involuntary celibate – online culture fuelled by misogyny and abuse of women. Police are investigating whether this was a motive for the shootings.

Going to run up against the thorny issue then, that he didn't solely target women, aren't you? 

On Thursday, an inquest heard that he argued with his mother, for whom he expressed hatred online, before the killing spree.

He's dead, she's dead...how do they know?

But maybe I'm making light of a serious issue, and there's lots of Jake Davisons out there (thanks, GPs!)? Are the people who make a living off this sort of thing seeing a lot of cases? 

William Baldét, a Prevent coordinator and practitioner in countering violent extremism for 10 years, said: “I’ve not personally seen anyone coming through who was explicitly driven to violence by the incel community but we have seen an increase in people engaging with those subcultures. It may be because we are better at recognising it, it may be because of an increase, or both.”

Ah. And if he can't manufacture it... 

He added: “It’s clear that misogyny as a concept runs deep through a lot of extremist ideologies. Incel is different in that it’s built around a hatred of women and feeling of inferiority, rather than bringing about societal change, but there’s a related need to tackle misogyny across society. That should be part of the whole system, at every level, and not just framed trough (sic) counter-terrorism.”

Of course, he can. They always can, can't they? 

And Next, She'll Warn Us That Water Is Wet...

The head of the schools watchdog in England has denounced a “militant” new brand of activism in school communities, which she warned was leading to confrontation within and outside the school gates and having a potentially limiting effect on education.

You've only just noticed? Where have you been for the last 10 years?

In some cases, she said, children and teachers were being subjected to abuse and even violence for being the wrong religion, race or ethnicity, and she said pupils should not be forced to support their peers’ campaigns for fear of being ostracised if they do not.

Too little, too late. Where were you when a schoolteacher was hounded out of his school for showing an image of a religious figure?