Many Germans Have Indeed Asked Themselves That Question, Bonita

I live in a small, quaint old town in north-west Germany, and every day I attend four hours of German and integration lessons. I attend because I am an immigrant: I am South African, and moved to Germany three months ago, along with my German husband and our children.

OK. And..? 

I learn alongside refugees, mainly from Syria and Ukraine, as well as other “regular immigrants” like me, from non-EU countries (the federal government covers the course fees for jobseekers, asylum seekers, and refugees, (Ed: pretty sure it's the German taxpayer that cover it...) while immigrants from non-EU countries must pay). Failure to pass the language test or complete the integration course can result in difficulties in extending temporary residence permits, obtaining permanent residency or German citizenship, and in some cases, can have financial consequences, such as fines or a reduction in social benefits.

Are you worried you won't pass then? 

Our headmistress recently told our class: “Racism is everywhere and Germans are racist, too. If someone hears you’ve been here for nine years and you still haven’t learned the language, you have no chance!”

Which is quite right, too. Why are you throwing a hissy fit about it? 

Policing all land borders will come with racial profiling and potential human rights violations. How does this sit with German values and culture, which include a strong commitment to human rights, justice and solidarity? Can the German government truly not find more effective ways to harness the country’s collective knowledge and expertise to address the root causes of irregular immigration? To agree on a European solution rather than turning desperate people away?

'Irregular immigration' - is that a euphremism? 

'Look On My Works, Ye Mighty, And Despair’

The far right across Europe used to dream of seeing their countries leave the European Union. In France, they called for a Frexit; in Germany, it was Dexit. But recently these calls have quietened. The reason is not that far-right parties have become enamoured of the EU, but rather they now understand that instead of quitting, they can reshape the EU into a collection of “strong” nation states that will each enact their own rightwing anti-migration agenda.

As Jordan Bardella, president of the National Rally (RN) in France, recently remarked in explaining why his party no longer called for France to quit the EU: “You don’t leave the table when you are winning the game.”

If you can't beat them, join them (and subvert them), eh? How delicious! 

The German government is on a dangerous path. The country holds a central position in the EU and is its largest economy, meaning that this plan, which goes against one of the central tenets of the EU, threatens to undermine the European project.

Oh noes! Disaster! Who could do such a thing? 

A cornerstone of that project was the ambition to make national borders disappear by creating the passport-free Schengen area, which now includes 25 of the 27 EU member states. It was one of the reasons why the EU received the Nobel peace prize in 2012 – although even then, thousands of migrants were dying at the EU’s external borders every year. At the time, a representative of the union declared: “Over the past 60 years, the European project has shown that it is possible for peoples and nations to come together across borders. That it is possible to overcome the differences between ‘them’ and ‘us’.”

Actually, enough Europeans have realised that it doesn't show that at all, that in fact it shows the opposite. And they've had enough of a union that's no longer working for them, but for itself.  

Besides stoking up racist resentment in society and undermining the rights of vulnerable groups, the German government risks putting the EU itself in jeopardy. The very idea of a political community that enshrines the right to free movement across borders is crumbling before our eyes. And it is not migrants who are to blame.

Ah, well, it had a good run while it lasted. 

First World Problems

Many Norwegians are feeling guilty, according to Elisabeth Oxfeldt. The professor of Scandinavian literature at Oslo University says wealthy Norwegians are increasingly contrasting their comfortable lives with those of people who are struggling, particularly overseas.

Oh my, the poor dears! 

“We’ve seen the emergence of a narrative of guilt about people’s privileged lives in a world where others are suffering,” she says. Thanks to its significant oil reserves, the largest in Europe after Russia’s, Norway is one of the world’s richest countries. The strength of its economy, as measured per member of its population, is almost twice that of the UK,, external and bigger even than that of the US. Norway even runs a budget surplus – its national income exceeds its expenditure. This is in marked contrast to most other nations, including the UK, which have to borrow money to cover their budget deficits.

And so, the bleak Scandinavian psyche must needs discover something to fret about, instead of revelling in their good fortune.

Prof Oxfeldt is an expert on how Scandinavian books, films and TV series reflect the wider culture of their time. She says she increasingly sees these mediums explore Norway’s wealth guilt.

“By looking at contemporary literature, films and TV series, I found that the contrast between the happy, fortunate or privileged self and the suffering ‘other’ brought about feelings of guilt, unease, discomfort or shame.

“Not everyone feels guilty, but many do,” adds Prof Oxfeldt, who has coined the phrase “Scan guilt”. Plots featured in recent Norwegian dramas include members of the “leisure class” who rely on services provided by migrant workers who reside in bedsits in their basements. Or women who realise that they have achieved gender equality in the workplace by relying on low-paid au pairs from poor countries to care for their children, says Prof Oxfeldt.

Hmm, doesn’t sound that different to the UK, really. Have they considered all getting columns in the ‘Guardian’ or ‘Independent’…?

Unsurprisingly, Norway has long been one of the happiest in the world, according to the World Happiness Report. It is currently in seventh place., external But on the other hand, reasons Børre Tosterud, an investor and retired hotelier, Norway’s “utter reliance on oil earnings” has resulted in an excessively large government budget, an inflated public sector, and a shortage of labour that holds back the private sector. “It’s not sustainable,” he insists.

It’s not? Oh, well, I guess that’s a warning our own government should be heeding, then. Anyone think they will?

I Think I See The Problem...

Germany might be renowned for its cleanliness and order, but the nation’s toilets seem to tell a different story. In 2023, one study found that half of German school students would rather hold it in than relieve themselves in the school loos. But no more. The first German School Toilet Summit was held this month to tackle the issue.

 You're using them for conference seating! Try putting them in public toilets and plumbing them in, dumb Krauts! 

To make toilets more appealing to young people, the German Toilet Organization awarded prizes totalling €50,000 (£42,000) to school pupils with the most innovative suggestions for improving the hygiene of public facilities.

You can have that suggestion for free, kinder. 

You might scoff at our European neighbours, who have a reputation for speaking plainly about bowel movements, sitting down to wee (even the men) and examining their own “fecal health”, aided by the country’s Flachspüler, or in-shelf toilets. But they’ve got the right idea in getting young people to consider the grossness of public conveniences.

Shared toilets, as anyone online knows, have become a focal point in the culture wars. They show up the most obvious difference between the sexes.

Because the people waging the war don't believe in those differences. 

They also, very importantly, show us the divide between the decent upstanding citizens of the world and the absolutely feral miscreants. At a former workplace, a mystery unflushable poo became something of legend, partly because it had been left there, in the unisex loos, with an entire metal fork wedged into it.

Lovely!  

...my firm belief is that the higher quality provision we’re given, the better we’ll behave in and around them.

Well, that's an expectation that has yet to run up against reality... 

Sorry, Progressives, No Takesy Backsies…

Paul Friedrich, 16, could not wait to cast his first ballot and had no doubt which German party had earned his support in the watershed European elections. “Correct, I voted AfD,” he said proudly in the bustle of the commuter railway station in Brandenburg an der Havel, an hour from central Berlin. The far-right Alternative für Deutschland made particularly stunning gains on Sunday among young voters.

For the first time in a national poll, 16- and 17-year-olds could cast their ballots – a reform that had been strongly backed by left-leaning parties. After overwhelmingly supporting the Greens five years ago, Germans under 25 gave the AfD 16% of their vote – an 11-point rise – helping place the party second behind the opposition CDU-CSU conservatives and well ahead of the Social Democrats of the chancellor, Olaf Scholz.

Whoops! That backfired spectacularly, didn't it?  

...his concerns echo those of many teenagers and twentysomethings in town: fears of war spreading in Europe, inflation, economic decline, “unchecked” immigration and, above all, violent crime, which they say is rampant when they use public transport or hang out in public spaces at night.

A familiar refrain, the sort of urban petty crime that impacts the youth more so than the adult voters is driving the 'lurch to the right' as this is being described.  

“A lot of things are moving in the wrong direction with the current government,” Friedrich said, referring to Scholz’s increasingly loveless centre-left-led alliance. “I want to change things with my vote – I want the AfD to shape that.”

And the left have helpfully tied the noose around their own neck and shown you how to kick the chair they are standing on! Oh, if only there was a German word to describe how I felt reading this article...

Brushing aside party scandals and attempts to whitewash the Nazi past, Konstantin and his friend Leonard, 18, also voted AfD. “When I go out I get insulted and even spat on by, let’s just say, non-Germans – those aren’t German values,” Leonard said. “If refugees come here and work and behave and leave me alone that’s fine, but if not, they should go home.”

It seems the education system in Germany hasn't been totally conquered by the progressives. Unlike ours. 

What do these 'new Germans' think about this? 

Noura Abu Agwa, a 24-year-old refugee from Damascus, said she and her mother also felt increasingly unsafe in town, but blamed the strong presence of the far right. “When I arrived I was wearing the hijab but I got harassed so I took it off,” she said. “I feel bad for my mom because she’s still wearing it, and once she was walking in the street and a man stopped her to shout at her. She was so confused because she only speaks Arabic.”

QED. 

Better Listen To Them!

Germans have demanded that their government restricts migration to prevent further attacks after an Afghan knifeman killed a police officer and stabbed five others at a political rally. Sulaiman Ataee, 25, launched a frenzied attack in Mannheim city centre on Friday, stabbing well-known Islam critic Michael Stuerzenberger, police officer Rueven L, 29, and several bystanders in a horrific incident which was live streamed on YouTube. Residents in the city in the state of Baden-Wuerttemberg were outraged over the attack, with many demanding stricter rules on immigration.

Remember the last time the Germans got a bit stirred up? You can't really fail to, can you?  

Local resident Julia, 27, said her opinion on migration had changed following the deadly stabbing rampage last week. 'I'm now a lot more aware of the dangers of Islamistic terror after what happened on Friday and it made me think that we might need to draw a line to restrict immigration and decide whether people actually need asylum or not,' she told MailOnline.

'It makes me increasingly angry as well that our society is so open to migrants and takes everyone in, but then there's people who are radical and violent, so much so that a police officer gets killed. It is truly shocking.'

And it's not just the usual complainants this time, either: 

Even the left-leaning Green Party, after years of urging Germany to take in more asylum seekers, is calling for tougher measures against Islamic extremists.

When you've lost the Greens.... 

Frustrated pensioner Rolf said that he thinks that Germany and its government will be outraged over the death of Rouven L. for a week, but will return to normal after, with no changes to be made following the brutal attack. 'It is intolerable,' he said.'We can't take in the whole world, that just cannot work,' Rolf told MailOnline. The 70-year-old said he had noticed German public services taking a hit and attributed this to mass migration.'I went to hospital to get help with a hernia, but I only got an appointment three months later. 'There's just too many people that come here, it just cannot work and we need to do something about it,' he added.

Amazingly, the Germans are saying all the things we are saying, but their government is actually listening to them.  

Homeless woman Petra, 57, told MailOnline: Migrants have a right to be here, but I don't think it's right that some, not all, get more than the Germans that are here. 'There's Germans on the streets, like us. I think everyone should be treated equally.' She used to be €800 (£680) in debt, which spiralled into losing her flat and insurance. Petra is now homeless, and struggling to even afford medication like paracetamol in the pharmacy. 'You used to be able to get medications written up [onto your insurance], but now that's not the case. Everything's gotten really expensive. 'You start asking yourself whether open borders are worth this, Petra added. 'The country can't do it anymore. People have health issues and can't pay to treat them. it's about time the government does more for its people, for everyone.'

Indeed it is.  

My first thought after hearing about the attack was "I hope people react rationally and don't get aggravated"

A rather baffling response to yet another Islamist attack on free speech. Thankfully others are beginning to react more rationally:

A 74-year-old pensioner, who travelled to Mannheim from the neighbouring Rheinland-Pfalz state to pay her sympathies to the victims, said she had 'goosebumps' ever since she heard about the attack. 'This is not normal that something like this happens. I immediately thought yesterday that it could happen to my child, to anyone. I can't understand this,' she told MailOnline. 'One should live in peace without attacking another person with a knife. Someone like that is not human to me. No one has the right to hurt others.'

She gets it. 

One member of the public, who prefers to stay anonymous, came to the market square in Mannheim today with a home-made sign saying 'Democracy - no Islamism'.The 35-year-old told MailOnline: 'It was another attack on someone who was using his democratic right to free speech. It is bad that something like this happens and it's happening more often, especially at the hands of Islamists. 'I have experienced today how it affects a lot of people here. They want to talk about, but many are afraid. Islamistic terror is coming closer and closer and now it has arrived in Mannheim.'He said he had thought about whether it was a good idea to come up to Mannheim from his nearby hometown to voice his concerns about Islamism, but ultimately decided to put his trust in the police to keep him safe. 'But I'm really scared of the future, of what is yet to come,' he added. While some people, including Muslims, came up to him and said they were sorry to hear about what happened, he said he also encountered people who looked 'as if they want to strangle' him.

I expect the others did too, they just hid it better.  

Roland said he was 'a bit scared' to share his opinion openly after Islam-critic Michael Stuerzenberger was attacked, but he continued: 'We reap what we sow. Who doesn't fight for their rights and freedoms will be a victim and will be under Sharia law.'

Amen, Roland. 

'It really hit close to home. There was only hate and violence behind it, nothing rational, nothing human, just rage,' Leo, who moved to the city for university, said.

And meanwhile, in the UK, it seems the police are waking up a little bit: 

A bit too little, too late, but still welcome. 

What Happened To Beer & Bratwurst?

The soaring cost of doner kebabs has led to growing calls in Germany for a government subsidy programme to keep the inflation-hit dish, one of the country’s favourites, affordable as politicians report it is frequently cited as a concern in doorstep conversations with voters.

Wow! I guess they must have no potholes in German roads, and no dog crap on their pavements either. 

The chancellor, Olaf Scholz, has become so used to being asked about the price of kebabs during public appearances that his government has even posted on social media to explain that price rises are in part due to rising wage and energy costs. “It’s quite striking that everywhere I go, mainly from young people, I’m asked whether there shouldn’t be a price brake for the doner,” Scholz has said.

Ah, Are those 'young people' Hans & Helga in lederhosen, or perhaps something quite different? Go on, guess! 

The far-left Die Linke party has become the latest to seize on the topic, calling, in a proposal it wants to present to parliament, for the introduction of a Dönerpreisbremse or doner kebab price cap, similar to that introduced in some parts of the country to control high rents. It says kebabs are already €10 (£8.60) in some cities, rising from €4 just two years ago.The party recommends a €4.9o price cap, and €2.90 for young people, especially those from lower income backgrounds, for whom it argues the dish – thinly sliced grilled meat topped with finely chopped vegetables, garlic or chilli sauce, and cradled in a folded flatbread – is a daily staple. It suggests every household could receive daily doner vouchers.

Now, that's chutzpah, and proof German left-wing parties are even more deranged than UK ones! Who thought that was even possible?  

Hanna Steinmüller, an MP for the Greens, a party that more usually appeals to people to give up meat, addressed the issue in parliament earlier this year. “For young people right now it is an issue as important as where they will move when they leave home. I know it’s not an everyday issue for many people here,” she said to fellow MPs, “and that …it’s also something that might be ridiculed, but I think as voter representatives we are obliged to highlight these different perspectives”.

Oh, there's no 'might' about it, it'll be ridiculed all right! But it'll be whistling past the graveyard, as how long will it be until Germany's fate is echoed elsewhere in Europe? 

Are We Charging The Brother? If Not, Why Not?

The BBC is taking out an onion for illegal immigrants again:

Obada and Ayser were among five people who drowned, a few metres from the shore, on the coast of northern France that night - the first to die while trying to cross to the UK in a small boat in 2024, a fortnight into the new year. To try to understand how a child could be put in this situation, the BBC reconstructed Obada's journey from Syria - using videos, messages and interviews with the brothers' relatives and others who accompanied them. Our aim was to explore the wrenching decisions involved at every stage.

Oh, that was your aim, was it? 

In his bedsit in west London, another of Obada's brothers, Nada, 25, kept glancing at his phone. It was 01:00 in London, 02:00 in France. A few hours earlier, Nada had called the whole group as they sat warming themselves around a fire at their makeshift camp under a canal bridge in Calais. They'd seemed confident about the journey ahead. Nada had made the same dangerous crossing two years earlier, ignoring his father, at home in Daraa, who had initially urged him to be patient, suggesting the war in Syria might soon end. Nada had chosen to travel to England because an uncle had already made the journey almost a decade earlier and been granted permission to remain. Both men had come illegally because, Nada said, there was no alternative.

And how did he repay this country? By encouraging more illegal immigration, of course. And now he has a foot in the door our own laws allow him to bring relatives legally. 

In October last year, Nada was granted refugee status and permission to remain in the UK for five years. He recently found a warehouse job near Wembley. He's now taking an English language course and hopes to bring his wife from Syria soon - something he is allowed to apply for as a refugee - and eventually to resume his law degree in England.

Which is the same aim his brother had:  

A neighbour from Daraa, who was with Obada the night he drowned, backed that up. "He would reach Britain and reunite with his brother and soon after would bring his mother and father. That was the whole point of them leaving, so his father could seek medical treatment abroad," said the man, who asked us not to reveal his name. In fact, the plan was flawed from the start. Given that he already had an adult brother in London, Obada would not have been in a position, as a minor, to arrange for his parents to follow him legally.

Well, thank goodness for that! As it happened  he never made it, but why has the brother's asylum not been revisited in light of his collusion? If he's broken no laws in encouraging the child and failing to alert the authorities, it's an utter travesty. 

The following evening, about 100 locals from Calais and a handful of migrants gathered in the town centre to hold a minute's silence for the five dead and to add Obada's and Ayser's names to a long scroll listing those who have died trying to cross the Channel in recent years.

"The biggest fault is the laws of Europe who make the life of the refugees impossible. Who give them not any rights. Who make their life here in Calais and all over the borders impossible. And we have to remember that. It is the fault of the European laws," a local French woman told the sombre crowd.

Sounds like France has its share of idiots too. Just like the UK. 

What's The French For 'Keeping Your Appointment In Samarra'..?

Mallet's victims on Friday included Emine Kara, the leader of the Kurdish women’s movement in France, who was refused asylum in the country earlier this year.

This infuriated Kurdish nationalists, who accused the French authorities of not doing enough to protect her.

Hey, if she'd gone back when her claim was refused, she wouldn't have been around to catch a bullet in Paris, would she? 

Beccuau referred to a burglary at his Paris home in 2016 which he believed was carried out by immigrants – a crime that helped radicalise him.

Something the police here might want to bear in mind... 

It was a year ago – on December 8 2021 – that the Frenchman went on the rampage in a refugee camp in Paris.

‘He used a sabre to slice two men, and damage six tents at a camp in the Bercy park in the 12th arrondissement of Paris,’ said the investigating source. ‘He was wounded when one of the refugees was disarming him. Two Sudanese refugees were badly wounded in the attack.’

The former train driver was put on remand in prison, while awaiting trial for attempted murder linked to racism, but he was bailed on December 12. Restrictions included having his French passport removed, and he was also banned from keeping any kind of weapon, while under ‘judicial supervision’.

Sounds like the judicial system over there is no better than ours... 

When Will A UK Politician Show The Same Backbone On Behalf Of The People Cull?

Denmark’s prime minister, Mette Frederiksen, has called a general election for 1 November after a member of her ruling coalition threatened to withdraw its support over her handling of the country’s controversial Covid mass mink cull.

Gosh! Mink are cute and make great coats. Do they rate higher than people, though? 

Frederiksen’s popularity has slipped after the government’s 2020 decision to cull Denmark’s entire captive mink population of 15 million for fear of a Covid-19 mutation moving from the animals to humans that could jeopardise future vaccines.

A parliament-appointed commission said in June that the government had lacked legal justification for the cull and made “grossly misleading” statements when it ordered Europe’s first compulsory shutdown of an entire farm sector.

Sounds familiar. Maybe we should all identify as mink, and maybe then our government could be brought to book for their actions during lockdown? 

Good!

Of course, in the crazy world of the 'Guardian', this is bad!

The government’s New Plan for Immigration aims to restrict family reunion rights for refugees who travelled through a safe third country before reaching the UK. This applies to the thousands who travelled to the UK in small boats.

Many of them have, in fact, travelled through multiple safe countries. Can the 'Guardian' find one that deserves to be here this time?

Reader, they cannot: 

One Syrian asylum seeker, who fled war, imprisonment and torture in his homeland before travelling through several countries and reaching the UK, said he was “horrified” by the government plans.

“We did not leave our country in search of happiness,” he told the Guardian. “I am talking here as the head of a family deserted. Rather, we went out to save our family from a war that does not know the young or the old and does not differentiate between the strong or the weak, in which no one can survive.”

“We walked in the most dangerous country, crossed the desert and crossed the English Channel in a rubber boat, knowing we may die in the sea. Has any official asked themselves what motivated us to risk ourselves … I was ready to die in order to save my family. What Priti Patel is thinking now is to eliminate our families by depriving us of family reunion.”

No, she's seeking to implement the will of the British people who have voted in a party that promised a crackdown on this sort of 'asylum shopping'.  

What Is Our Country Turning Into..?

The UK’s biggest business lobby group has called on the government to relax post-Brexit immigration rules...

Wait, why? 

...to help companies struggling with staff shortages to hire more workers from overseas.

Hire British ones instead! Oh, god, it's not the curry houses again, is it? 

The Confederation of British Industry (CBI) said the government needed to immediately update its “shortage occupations list” to include several areas where employers are finding it difficult to recruit staff, including butchers, bricklayers and welders.

Oh! That's some strange collection of occupations there... 

Pressure is mounting on hauliers, hospitality venues and the food and drink industry in particular, with companies scrambling to hire staff as pandemic restrictions are relaxed and demand for goods and services returns.

Well, how many unemployed do we have? 1.6 million? I think we can find some there, can't we? 

A government spokesperson said: “Employers should invest in our domestic workforce instead of relying on labour from abroad.

The government carefully considered the migration advisory committee’s findings and recommendations on the shortage occupation list, but decided not to make wide-scale changes while we monitor the new skilled worker route and assess how the UK labour market develops and recovers post-pandemic.”

Quite right. Let's use the resources we have, rather than purchasing foreign ones. 

Chalk Up Another Win For Carrie..?

To animal welfare activists, it's 'torture in a tin'; to gourmets – or at least some of them – it's a delicious delicacy.

Now Britain is set to ban the import of foie gras in a post-Brexit move that should delight anti-cruelty campaigners.

And someone very close to the seat of power at No 10, no doubt. 

Sources said yesterday that Lord Goldsmith, the Animal Welfare Minister, is determined to implement the ban 'in the next few months'.

There's no more pressing concerns for his department to work on, then? 

Last month, he congratulated Fortnum & Mason after the Queen's grocer announced that it would no longer stock the delicacy, usually sold as a pâté or mousse made from the enlarged livers. At the time, Lord Goldsmith tweeted: 'Foie gras is unbearably barbaric. It's hard to imagine anyone could watch the process and still enjoy eating it.'

Don't they say the same about sausages? Oh, and laws? 

The Right Stuff..?

European space chiefs have launched their first recruitment drive for new astronauts in 11 years...

Excellent news!  

...with particular emphasis on encouraging women and people with disabilities to join missions to the Moon and, eventually, Mars.

Wait, what? Identity politics in space now...? 

The European Space Agency (ESA) said on Tuesday that it was looking to boost the diversity of its crews as it cavassed for up to 26 permanent and reserve astronauts.

Why? Space exploration is a tough enough job without having the added burden of someone who is potentially weaker than male crewmates, or needs expensive adaptations to perform to the same level.

I mean, what possible reason would you have, other than the PR opportunity? 

Adapting technology that enabled humans to be in space could open the opportunity for people with disabilities, Italian astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti said.

“When it comes to space travel, we are all disabled,” Cristoforetti added.

But some will now be more disabled than others.