As a 75-year-old lesbian, Mindy Meleyal has lived through every major milestone in the modern LGBT rights movement, from the start of decriminalisation in 1967 to the first same-sex marriages in 2014. But now she says this important part of her identity is frequently overlooked due to her age. She's part of England's older LGBTQ+ community, which a new report suggests often experiences poorer health, more limited finances and greater social isolation than the wider older population.
Being different from the majority of people brings…difference in old age. Who could have predicted that?
The report, from the Centre for Ageing Better, says without specialist support, this growing demographic could be forced "back into the closet" when accessing care, warning they may even delay getting the care they need because of concerns about homophobia.
Such as?
Adam Preston, a housing development manager from the LGBT Foundation charity, says he regularly meets older members of the community in exactly that situation. "It's very common for people to hide things if they have a carer visiting their home, for example hiding their wedding photos or taking down a trans flag," he says.
He says he has been "horrified" by some of the stories he has heard meeting older LGBTQ+ people, including some who have had carers offer to "pray for them" regarding their sexuality.
That says more about the people employed as carers than anything else, doesn’t it? And I suppose a ‘No, thank you!’ won’t suffice?
On one occasion, while Mindy was in hospital after a stroke, a nurse referred to Linda as Mindy's husband. She said it was not only "insulting", but made her consider what sort of training the staff might have had.
When your loved one is in hospital, do you really have the time to wonder that? Shouldn’t you be more concerned about their medical competence given the current state of the NHS, than about how well they are schooled in political correctness, which anyway changes with the wind?
The report, external says older LGBTQ+ people are less likely to have children - someone born in 1950 would have been in their 50s by the time same-sex couples could legally adopt - and that they are more likely to be estranged from their families when compared to their heterosexual counterparts.
Again, difference from regular societal norms means just that.
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