Opening a cafe

Easy-peasy in the UK, according to Rupert:

“Starting and running a business in 2025 Britain - let’s walk through it. You’ve got a good idea, managed to save a few quid to invest and want to give it a go. Let’s say it’s a cafe. Generate wealth, create jobs and contribute to your local economy. Great idea. You just picked the wrong country to do it in. Registering the damn thing is complicated enough, and that’s the easy bit. Next up is the bank account? You’re treated like a criminal and it takes week - opening a cafe, not a terrorist cell. You manage to find a premise, good location. Oh, it costs a fortune. Rent through the roof and you’re forced to pay thousands to the council. For what? The filthy high street? The rapid customer service? Hmm. Yet another rip off. Inspections are a nightmare, it’s never-ending bureaucracy from people who have never created anything in their lives. But somehow you get it off the ground and things go well. You need to expand, hire someone. Ouch. PAYE, national insurance, pensions, HR policies, health and safety risk assessments. One wrong step and you’re facing an employment tribunal. Is it even worth the risk? It’s becoming more and more expensive, and risky, to hire people? Why bother? Maybe you try and get independent contracted help. Ah. IR35 puts a stop to that. We wouldn’t want any flexibility now, would we? That would make too much sense. Your accountants already cost an absolute fortune. They’re bleeding you dry just so you comply with the layers and layers of regulations. But let’s say it’s gone well, and your hard work is paying off. Turnover hits £90k. The dreaded VAT threshold. That means if you essentially then have to start charging VAT. That means everything gets 20% more expensive for your customers. Or you are forced to absorb the costs. Or you deliberately make less money to stay below the threshold. Just brilliant. Maybe you want to keep the cafe open later? Serve some alcohol? Have some music on? More licences. More costs. More inspections. More bureaucracy. Why bother? Waste collection even costs a fortune. Remind me, why are you already paying the council? You try and ring the council, you’re on hold for 30 minutes. Brilliant. Customers are waiting. You finally speak to someone. They’re rude, and haven’t got a clue what they’re doing. They promise they’ll get back to you, but they only work four days a week and on Thursday they’re working from home. No answer, you have to chase and chase and chase. Incompetence reigns. Right. We’ve got through all of that, now you want to pay yourself? Not unreasonable is it? For working 16 hour days to get the business off the ground? Corporation tax slices your profit down. Maybe there’s some left. Dividend allowance has been cut, so there’s less to take there. Tax rates are up too. Hmm. Okay, well let’s take a small salary and some dividends. Maybe you’ve got student debt too which takes a large chunk? It is brutal. Even making money costs money. It costs to deposit, it costs to accept card payments. No holiday, no protection, no respect. All risk, and you’re treated like dirt by the Government. You look at it all and just think, why bother? Why not work for the public sector as some irrelevant bureaucrat obstructing everyone else? Get 60k, 35 days holiday and you can literally never be sacked. What’s the point? Why take the risk? Just do that instead. We desperately need to back British enterprise. Reward those who take all of the risk. And actually, support local businesses where we all can. We should be slashing corporation tax, doubling the VAT threshold, increasing personal allowances, abolishing business rates for high street small firms, reducing national insurance contributions, cutting tax on salary/dividends, brutalising red tape and PLENTY more. If you do these things, you will generate MORE tax revenue. It is really not a complicated principle. Does Reeves understand that? No. The woman is clueless. Absolutely clueless. She does NOT understand what she is forcing on business owners. Let’s see if she can run our cafe for a week. Absolutely NO chance. I’m with the men and women who build businesses, create wealth, and generate opportunities. They have my full respect. The politicians running our country certainly do not. My message to our cafe owner? Keep plugging away, it will get better. Please know that at least one MP is fighting for you in Westminster.”