It's Time These Climate Scientists Slept With The Fishes...

Keeping a tank of tropical fish could...

Be a rewarding hobby? Provide a means of relaxation at the end of a long working day? 

...contribute as much greenhouse gas as driving thousands of miles in a car or a motorbike, a study has found.

*sighs* Who the hell bothers to work this out? And why aren't they building my flying car, already? 

The carbon footprint and environmental impacts of keeping pet fish has been calculated for the first time by Cardiff University's Water Research Institute.

Oh. Wales. That figures. 

Dr Perry added: 'Ornamental fishkeeping can be a more environmentally conscious pet choice than owning an average sized dog or cat, which are likely to produce considerably more emissions through their consumption of meat.

Better forget the piranha then! 

'However, the environmental impacts of fishkeeping can also be substantial depending on aquarium size, how it is run and even what country it is in.

'There are still improvements that can be made to ensure the environmental sustainability of the hobby.'

I suspect that's not really uppermost in most aquarist's minds, Prof... 

'The environmental impact from the energy needs of keeping fish will improve as national energy grids start to decarbonize, but reducing the environmental impact of high water consumption will not come easily and will require ingenuity at the level of the individual.'

They like to get you coming and going, don't they? 

'These are important considerations as we face a climate emergency linked with our demands for energy, as well as water insecurity linked with our demands for water.'

If we were facing such a thing, it might possibly be, yes. But we aren't. And we're tired of your increasing hysteria in trying to persuade us of it...